Mother’s Day vent

Im just needing a space to vent. I think im just being emotional for having high expectations for my first Mother’s Day. Me and my partner have been struggling a bit financially so I totally understand not being able to go all out but I feel like they aren’t even trying to make my first Mother’s Day special. When I asked what are you going to do for me I got “we have no money so I can’t do anything big..do you want cheap flowers?” And to me I don’t care about how expensive things are I care about intention! To me flowers are flowers and if I get any type of flowers followed by a happy Mother’s Day I’m going to appreciate it but instead I’m met with excuses. My family also knows I make a big deal out of any birthday or celebration but now that it’s my first Mother’s Day I think I expected for them to return the energy and that was also not met. I definitely know I set a high expectation but it still hurt my feelings when I’m being told “no nothing planned”. Just needed a space to let it out.

in our community

Am I a d-head for not giving my sister and brother in law all my baby things?

I’m looking like such a bad person here but anyways my partners brother and his wife just had their second baby (a boy this time) after having a baby girl 12 months ago. We had our first babies together they were born a week apart (I had a boy). Everything they brought for their first was gender neutral except clothes and despite them knowing they was pregnant they decided to throw/give away everything. Space wasn’t the issue as my in laws would’ve stored it for them until baby was here. So now they asked for the clothes my sons grown out of which I was happy to give to them but now they are also asking for my car seat, bouncer, Moses basket, next to me, baby carrier, playmat and so much more but I’ve stored those away for a future baby and they are quiet expensive ones I’ve got even though I was struggling and still am with money I saved and invested in good quality products so I can use them again for a second baby. My mil and fil are trying to pressure me to give them up and no one’s offering money except for the car seat they said they’ll pay £20 for I paid £230😬 they’re all making me seem like this horrible person whose selfish even though it’s my partner who they are asking and he said no

useless partner

I’m here to rant and if anyone can relate. my bf is useless he does not do anything, when my daughter cries she does not settle with him because he has never comforted her or taken care of her. I have sleep less nights and still have to do everything round the house, he does one thing which is clean the bottles he even complains about sterilising them and doesn’t do it. he thinks he has it worse because he has to get up at 5 in the morning for work yet i wake up every 2 and a half hours because she wakes up (4months btw). he says all i have to do is feed and change her and put her to bed and that’s it. I have had so many conversations about it with him and he’s always turned it into arguments because he thinks he is saying he’s a bad dad. i have never left her with him for longer than 20 minutes (while i shower) because he doesn’t know how to look after her and what she needs it is ridiculous!! i need help what do i do or can anyone relate???

Money

Hello ladies x

I just wanted to ask the mums that don’t pay parts of the bill/rent, and your partner pays everything. Does it feel like a weight off your shoulders?

I wish i had this and honestly been feeling so down about having to pay parts of the bills and some how during the month my husband says he has no money so its more on me to pay for things… but he goes out with his friends a lot but swears he doesnt spend money.

I just want to imagine my life being a bit more privilaged 😅

What kind of tv shows (that are appropriate to watch with your toddler) do y'all look at when you're tired of the baby shows??

The days I get burnt out on his stuff, I need to find more appropriate adult shows.

Husband swearing in front of child

My husband and I are from two very different backgrounds, in his childhood swearing was used just as part of everyday language by his mum,brothers etc. my husband having met me and seeing I don’t like swearing or use it in my language has definitely toned it down however when he is angry usually if someone cuts him off driving or if he drops something in the house etc he still swears and I’ve asked him time and time again not to in front of out two year old. He continues to do it and while I recognise he is trying hard it just doesn’t seem good enough to me. What do I do?

I just need to have a whinge - newborn visitors

I just had a baby 2 weeks ago (and also have a 3 year old)
I'm not close with my dad's side of the family but they all visited today (8 people in total)

We have a fairly small house and not a lot of couch space/seats. I ended up standing or on an old hard dining chair most of the afternoon. My dad offered me a space on the couch once but I kept having to get up so it didn't matter because...

1. I preperared lunch for everyone. Sandwiches, cut up fruit for all the kids (there was two other kids 6+3yo, plus my 3yo) and sorted juice, biscuits etc. My husband was on teas and coffees in case you were wondering why he wasn't helping me, he was!

I served lunch up and then I was hovering about because my chair kept getting taken.

I held my newborn baby for maybe 10 minutes the whole time. Everyone was passing her around and eventually she got fed by someone else and fell asleep. She absolutely stinks of perfume now. Why would you soak yourself in perfume when you're going to visit a baby???

The 6yo was a nightmare and for some reason I was the one watching him, his parent didn't even pay attention to him at all.

He went outside into our garden because I had the back door open as I was too hot. He then started climbing all over our garden furniture, like jumping on it and I could see his weight bending the wicker. I kept telling him to come off the furniture but he would just jump off for 2 minutes then go back on. He then kept going round the side of our garage where its quite wild with trees and overgrown bushes. I told him again to come out of there, he came out with a massive 4ft stick and started waving it around and using it as a sword. At this point my 3yo was outside with us and he nearly hit him several times. I told him to give me the stick and he wouldn't. I felt like I was just waiting for him to hurt himself or someone else or break something. He was just running riot and nobody was watching him but me. He ended up bringing loads of my sons toy vehicles outside and throwing them across the garden. He then picked up a football and deliberately threw it over the fence into the neighbours garden. I was losing the will to live and told him he had to come inside. Later on I noticed him standing at the table taking bites out of all the pieces of fruit and spitting it out onto the dining table. There was just a pile of chewed up grapes and strawberries etc.

I'm sure kids will be kids and maybe I'm just not experienced with what 6 year olds are like yet but his parents would not watch him at all and it was making me so anxious.

The other 3yo was great but she kept picking up my baby's dummy and trying to put it in baby's mouth, which was sweet of course, but she kept touching the dummy on the sucker part and then shoving it in baby mouth when she was really content and not wanting it at all. I had to say oh I think baby is just sleeping she doesn't need her dummy just now.

I feel like I didn't sit down the entire time or cuddle my baby the whole time either and I'm so overwhelmed and overstimulated now..

Maybe I'm being too sensitive and whinging too much but I thought when visitors came to visit a newborn that the mum wasn't meant to be running about parenting their kids and making food etc... 😭