Mom's going through divorce/separation/ breakups

Is it time to end the marriage?

My husband and I can’t get along. We don’t share the same interests. I’m a bookworm and he’s a party man who loves to drink on the weekends. We tried to get along. We tried for years. I’ve been begging him to even talk to me since we got married and I’ve been settling for the bare minimum. He can’t even look me in the eyes when he talks to me. He was so involved and loving until our honeymoon. He left me in Spain alone because of a small argument. Since we got married we’ve only been having small talk. Kinda like we’re roommates. It’s weird, nothing happened between us, it’s just his personality. He’s emotionally distant, scared to hug me, freaks out if I talk about things that aren’t positive. Hes quick to run out the door. After minor arguments he would leave the house and disappear for days\weeks to his mother’s house-and then come back as if nothing happened. He still does it and leaves me and our toddler alone for weeks. It’s so odd. He’s like that with his friends too and his own family. He just doesn’t talk.. unless he’s drunk. Anyway, long story short, I can’t keep living like this. I feel sorry that my child has to see her mother go through this. I don’t want her to think this is ok.. what do you think?

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Would setting some harder boundaries so he like “as much as I want us to work out, I need us to see a couple’s Counsellor or I can’t be in this relationship” work?

Some people think disagreement = “o am a failure” and so they can’t bear the confrontation without feeling shame or some large negative emotion. Sometimes people cope by avoidance (hard in his case). Doesn’t make it right tho, and you shouldn’t be carrying the burden of the relationship and family on your own.

As someone who grew up with the worst dad ever.. having to see my mom to suffer was the worst thing ever… my dad was physically abuzive towards my mom. He was a useless dad to me and my broather. And regardless of all the suffering they stayed together. For what ? God knows. I would’ve loved if my mom left him and found a man to love her and cherish her the way she deserves it. She never really needed him. He changed a lot he is a complete different man. Does that change all the damage he did ? No.. you and your kid definitely don’t deserve this kind of a man child in your life. I’m sorry but UK man of course not all of them. All they care is go out drink do drugs and chill with their mates. Like they are still 15 year olds running around. A child has nothing to learn from a man like this. You and your doughter don’t deserve this..

No one should settle for bare minimum. If you have tried for many years and its not got any better then you already have your answer. I'm in the same position, after 5 years of trying, I've realised its just not how I want to be loved for the rest of my life and I ended it 2 weeks ago. Feel free to message me if you need to talk x

Sounds like he has flight response and a drinking problem (which could be physical or his current emotional dependency). I don’t think you should leave without trying marriage counseling and individual therapy for both of you. Through it, there will be a lot of unlearning and new learning, for both of you. This is, if you’re both willing to go and put in the effort. If he refuses, combined with no improvement.. I would move towards ending things if it were me.

I was married to a similar behaviour man- no talking, no emotional closeness. Therapists suggested to look up on emotional avoidance description. Helped me to understand few things, however, that doesn't give him right to treat you like this.

It sounds like you know in your heart what's right for you. May I ask how long you've been married and has it ever gotten better temporarily in that time?

Definitely time to end things. Leaving at all is unacceptable, especially for weeks. This sounds so toxic. It's not up to you to fix him or crack some code to get to the point where he opens up and works on himself. Life is short and this isn't the relationship you want your toddler to try to emulate in the future, you know?

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Fml

Feel so shit, got a 2yr old & a 2wk old and literally hate the newborn stage so much.

Pist off my toddler only wants my hubby since hes been on paternity leave and wont let me do anything

Newborn just wants to be on the boob all the time restricting what I can do and time i spend with toddler

Was just about to go to softplay but baby is screaming the car down so ive bailed and said I may aswell just stay at home glued to the sofa with him and sent my hubby off with our toddler

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Mother’s Day

Anyone else’s partner get so worked up about Mother’s Day?
He asked what I wanted and I said basically time to sleep in and get up leisurely, he takes the baby, helps with meals and just acts as the primary parent for that day. I didn’t say I would even leave the house, but it would be nice to.
He’s so stressed tonight, saying he doesn’t do well with her and managing her right now and trying to do everything else on top of it. He says he wants me to have a nice day but feels like my expectations are too high and what I’m asking for is better suited for an older child who is more independent.
We have a 1.5 year old. Idk, am I asking too much for one day to not carry the mental load, not do dishes or laundry and let him attend to her needs?

Anyone else feel their partner just doesn’t get it??

We’re dog sitting at my father in laws and my partner has just started shouting at me because I woke him up as my son just threw up all over the place. He’s called me the a**hole because he was asleep both me and my son were covered in sick and now he’s told me to not go anywhere near him because I woke him up… he’s currently bathing our son but told me he doesn’t know what my problem is and why I just couldn’t deal with it all by myself.

But yesterday he woke me up because he didn’t know what to do as our son felt warm…

Does anyone else’s partner just not get it….

What do i do ?

Ladies please help! My boy is almost 8 months old and is still on pureed/lumpy foods. Any time i go to give him something more solid i have a complete anxiety attack, my legs go like jelly and my heart hammers out of my chest. Hes gagged twice before when i tried to give him toast and another time when I gave him on of them melty sticks, it foesnt help that hes a rammer ans shoves it all into his mouth.I just tried him with cucumber sticks, he was fine but I was thay scared I felt like I was going to pass out. I just cant do it. Am I depriving him if I dont give him finger foods/ affecting his development? He loves his food and eats a massive variety, its just spoon fed to him. What can I do to make this better?