Mother’s Day

Anyone else’s partner get so worked up about Mother’s Day?
He asked what I wanted and I said basically time to sleep in and get up leisurely, he takes the baby, helps with meals and just acts as the primary parent for that day. I didn’t say I would even leave the house, but it would be nice to.
He’s so stressed tonight, saying he doesn’t do well with her and managing her right now and trying to do everything else on top of it. He says he wants me to have a nice day but feels like my expectations are too high and what I’m asking for is better suited for an older child who is more independent.
We have a 1.5 year old. Idk, am I asking too much for one day to not carry the mental load, not do dishes or laundry and let him attend to her needs?

in our community

useless partner

I’m here to rant and if anyone can relate. my bf is useless he does not do anything, when my daughter cries she does not settle with him because he has never comforted her or taken care of her. I have sleep less nights and still have to do everything round the house, he does one thing which is clean the bottles he even complains about sterilising them and doesn’t do it. he thinks he has it worse because he has to get up at 5 in the morning for work yet i wake up every 2 and a half hours because she wakes up (4months btw). he says all i have to do is feed and change her and put her to bed and that’s it. I have had so many conversations about it with him and he’s always turned it into arguments because he thinks he is saying he’s a bad dad. i have never left her with him for longer than 20 minutes (while i shower) because he doesn’t know how to look after her and what she needs it is ridiculous!! i need help what do i do or can anyone relate???

Money

Hello ladies x

I just wanted to ask the mums that don’t pay parts of the bill/rent, and your partner pays everything. Does it feel like a weight off your shoulders?

I wish i had this and honestly been feeling so down about having to pay parts of the bills and some how during the month my husband says he has no money so its more on me to pay for things… but he goes out with his friends a lot but swears he doesnt spend money.

I just want to imagine my life being a bit more privilaged 😅

Husband swearing in front of child

My husband and I are from two very different backgrounds, in his childhood swearing was used just as part of everyday language by his mum,brothers etc. my husband having met me and seeing I don’t like swearing or use it in my language has definitely toned it down however when he is angry usually if someone cuts him off driving or if he drops something in the house etc he still swears and I’ve asked him time and time again not to in front of out two year old. He continues to do it and while I recognise he is trying hard it just doesn’t seem good enough to me. What do I do?

I just need to have a whinge - newborn visitors

I just had a baby 2 weeks ago (and also have a 3 year old)
I'm not close with my dad's side of the family but they all visited today (8 people in total)

We have a fairly small house and not a lot of couch space/seats. I ended up standing or on an old hard dining chair most of the afternoon. My dad offered me a space on the couch once but I kept having to get up so it didn't matter because...

1. I preperared lunch for everyone. Sandwiches, cut up fruit for all the kids (there was two other kids 6+3yo, plus my 3yo) and sorted juice, biscuits etc. My husband was on teas and coffees in case you were wondering why he wasn't helping me, he was!

I served lunch up and then I was hovering about because my chair kept getting taken.

I held my newborn baby for maybe 10 minutes the whole time. Everyone was passing her around and eventually she got fed by someone else and fell asleep. She absolutely stinks of perfume now. Why would you soak yourself in perfume when you're going to visit a baby???

The 6yo was a nightmare and for some reason I was the one watching him, his parent didn't even pay attention to him at all.

He went outside into our garden because I had the back door open as I was too hot. He then started climbing all over our garden furniture, like jumping on it and I could see his weight bending the wicker. I kept telling him to come off the furniture but he would just jump off for 2 minutes then go back on. He then kept going round the side of our garage where its quite wild with trees and overgrown bushes. I told him again to come out of there, he came out with a massive 4ft stick and started waving it around and using it as a sword. At this point my 3yo was outside with us and he nearly hit him several times. I told him to give me the stick and he wouldn't. I felt like I was just waiting for him to hurt himself or someone else or break something. He was just running riot and nobody was watching him but me. He ended up bringing loads of my sons toy vehicles outside and throwing them across the garden. He then picked up a football and deliberately threw it over the fence into the neighbours garden. I was losing the will to live and told him he had to come inside. Later on I noticed him standing at the table taking bites out of all the pieces of fruit and spitting it out onto the dining table. There was just a pile of chewed up grapes and strawberries etc.

I'm sure kids will be kids and maybe I'm just not experienced with what 6 year olds are like yet but his parents would not watch him at all and it was making me so anxious.

The other 3yo was great but she kept picking up my baby's dummy and trying to put it in baby's mouth, which was sweet of course, but she kept touching the dummy on the sucker part and then shoving it in baby mouth when she was really content and not wanting it at all. I had to say oh I think baby is just sleeping she doesn't need her dummy just now.

I feel like I didn't sit down the entire time or cuddle my baby the whole time either and I'm so overwhelmed and overstimulated now..

Maybe I'm being too sensitive and whinging too much but I thought when visitors came to visit a newborn that the mum wasn't meant to be running about parenting their kids and making food etc... 😭

Genuinely so flabbergasted

Laying in bed last night scrolling on my phone when I see this pop up. A message from my only auntie who I hadn’t even personally told about the pregnancy. The only times this woman has texted me in the 6+ months has been to ask for money. The first one was Christmas and I was planning on sending her some cash anyway as I usually do most Christmas’s for her kids my 1st cousins. The second one I ignored and she texted
Me the next day saying nvm I figured it out thanks, and now this one which by the time I actually woke up in the morning the message had been deleted and I guess we are acting like it didn’t just fricken happen.

Screen Time

Ok I’m seriously interested in how much screen time your toddlers get. TV, phone and iPad combined even if it is educational games or tv. My toddler does at least 4 sensory trays every day. We go on an outing. Spend hours on the garden digging, riding bikes etc. but I still feel like he gets too much screen time don’t know if I’m overthinking it.