Is my marriage salvageable?
For years iv felt emotionally alone.
Both of my labor & births, he may as well not be there. He didnt come near me or support me in any way.
All we do is bicker now. He complains constantly about my mood and how depressing I am to be around. Im exhausted. Our second baby has never been a good sleeper. He started to sleep through but has now got a cold so the oast 2 nights have been horrendous. So much so I missed my first day back to work after maternity leave as my day begun at 2:30am.
Im drained, im also chronically ill with an auto immune disease, im facing new health issues with prolonged menstrual bleeding. I have bled for 50% of the time over the past 5m. Im being sent for an urgent scan which was arranged and booked for just 3 days after my appointment. After that appointment he didn't ask how it went, when I eventually told him 2 days before the scan that I was being sent for one, his main concern was who will watch the kids cause hes working. Not why or what or how am I feeling about it. Im so miserable atm. He tells me im dramatic, im depressing, im a quitter blah blah. I have PND / PNA im so not okay atm. He knows this. But dismisses my feelings and my health issues all the time.
Iv never felt so alone.
I am trying to leave my partner but feel guilty
So basically, I’m planning leaving my partner at the moment. We had our daughter 2 years ago now and things have gotten increasingly more difficult between us. I stay at home, he works. His job is physically demanding and when he gets home the first thing he does is sleep. He rarely helps with any household tasks and spends little time with our daughter. When he is hanging out with us or looking after our child, he is glued to his phone or eventually falls asleep. We don’t really talk or spend much 1 on 1 time with each other and don’t have any romantic interactions. He doesn’t hold conversations with my family and even falls asleep at my parents house when we pop in for a visit. I have tried so hard to communicate kindly my needs as a partner, roommate and parent, and he sometimes he apologises and then does nothing differently, on the other hand he has also has responded with “i don’t know”, “whatever” and “ffs”. I have even read books and organised counselling (he didn’t follow through). Now I’ve said I want to leave him, he’s gotten really upset and said he doesn’t want me to go and I feel a bit guilty, like maybe this isn’t that bad? I also cannot bare the thought of thinking about less time with my daughter. I really wanted this tiny family to work, that is the best case scenario to me but I feel like I’ve exhausted all our options. I have no idea what I’m doing or what to do next. I feel super conflicted
