I formula fed, im the one working parent, i slept trained (ferber) and my kid and i diddnt baby wear enough.

I’m basically the opposite, SAHM, still breastfeeding 14 months post, always baby wearing, cosleeping etc and I think those moms who told you that are indeed twats and should be ignored. my son STILL prefers his dad even though I’m the one doing everything for him, sometimes I think maybe it’s because I’m so burned out and touched out all the time that he can just feel my energy’s not there so idk, maybe something’s gotta change slightly. Every moms gotta do what’s best for their family, you can try to implement more attachment parenting but please don’t feel like you broke him or that you’ll never have a strong bond with him, and look at your sons overall demeanor and personality, you say he’s a happy calm and sweet kid, you didn’t fail him at all

I wouldn't say it's too late. Children go thru phases.
You havent given any details about the time you DO spend with him, so just off what you've said, i would say trying to be intentional with your time with him may help if you havent tried.
And if you have been trying, it probably will take much time. Kids latch on to what is consistent and reliable, and so far its been the parent thats always there. It sucks but its not personal and its not forever. They just only been here a short time so cant rely on any memories to guarantee anything

The 'twats' online were mean, wrong and projecting.

O god people are so dramatic. Kids go through phases. You don’t need to touch grass, other people do. Make the time you do have with him intentional and bond. He’ll be fine.

It's never too late to bond with a kid. It requires effort though. Daily presence and short play (even if 10 min after work). I would spend all my time out of work to build that bond. Also that should give you 2 space. So it's good if he leaves the house and let you be with your kid. No cellphone around. Full focus together. He loves dogs. Make a funny dance with the dog. (For example). Make it fun and existing. Small daily rituals,... Few ideas 😊

I mean a two year old is only 730.5 days old. It’d be insane for anybody to think it’s too late for anything in a 2 year olds life to change lmfao the kid just got here in the grand scheme of life

I’ve also heard that when kids are around 7-9 years old is when they actually start to exist with flexible thinking & basic time concepts, so like yeah, asking if you’ve already completely ruined it before the kid is two is very silly

None of what you've described cripples or inhibits your bond with your child. I formula fed. I tried baby-wearing, but I'm short, a bit front heavy, and found it difficult to work around. We had a good independent sleeper but dad has always been the bedtime man, he's very highly attuned to her and very involved, and as a result, he's definitely the "preferred" parent.

I struggled thinking a lot of these things meant I had fucked up - my daughter would sometimes show me affection but not spontaneously. As of late though, as she becomes an individual little person with her own thoughts and feelings, I've learned that she's far more attached to me than I realized. When we're out together, if she can't see me for a second, she freaks out. If we're apart for awhile she calls for me, even while with dad. She'll cry for me and if she can't be with me, she'll melt down. She snuggles and cuddles and says "I love you."

I believe the whole way under 3 is the time to build this special connection. It’s shortly after 3 when they start building small relationships outside of the immediate family circle. You’ve got plenty of time to show him unconditional ❤️ love! You are aware and doing great x

Formula feeding, not baby-wearing; these things don't detract from your bond. Your bond is built on thousands of microinteractions, every day, when you attend to your child's needs and establish trust and security. When they cry and you comfort them. When they learn that you will come when they call. When they're hungry and you feed them, not WHAT you feed them. These are the things that build a bond.

I definitely don't feel like it's too late to build a bond with your child. Start spending time with him now.

Not at all! Kids learn to build secure attachments til around 3-5 year old! Start now. Read all the books. And it’s never too late to be the mom you want to be❤️

Its not too late. Most children have a prefered parent anyways.

Just spend some quality time together when theyre awake.

Also, as a single mom, my son makes me feel this way sometimes, and theres NObody else so no dont give up

Kids go through phases - you're catastrophising a lot here!