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Moms in their 30’s

Porn concerns

I’m 12 weeks postpartum. 2 weeks ago I picked up my husband’s phone to take a picture of our daughter (I’ve always known his passcode and passwords) then went to check the zoo times on the internet (my phone was not in the room). When I went to the internet tabs I saw a photo of a woman’s butt in a thong swimsuit. I clicked into it and saw it was a ‘fansly’ page. I scrolled up and saw the top of the swimsuit too with like… gigantic boobs. I asked him about it and he said it must have been an ad. I was hurt about it and he was mad I didn’t trust him. I struggled for a day or so, but had an appointment with my therapist who helped me think of the facts- I’ve never seen anything like this since we’ve been together (2022), I have all his passwords, and he has never been gone without explanation (he’s pretty much at work or with me). So… I decided to trust him. Fast forward to today. He was showing me something on his bank account (we have our own and a joint account) and I saw a charge for ‘fansly’. I went back a month and saw two charges for this month and last. I was obviously upset and he said that it must have been from an account before we met (if he has paid for it all this time it is like… $4,000). I then asked for his phone, which he gave willingly. I opened the incognito tabs and saw multiple tabs of porn (not ‘fansly’ I don’t think- I wasn’t paying attention to that). I asked him to explain and he said he sometimes looks at it but it’s been ‘a long time’. I asked further questions and he said he looked at it ‘when we couldn’t’ (aka the first 6 weeks postpartum- I had an emergency C-section) and sometimes before but ‘not often’ while he was at home without me (we have different days off and he gets off earlier than I do). I’m not sure how to move forward. I don't want him to see me naked right now- not even to breastfeed our baby. I love him, but to me porn is a not acceptable. He closed the tabs and said he wouldn’t look at it again. Has anyone gone through this? Any advice? I don’t want to be a single mom. He is my best friend. I just don’t know how to trust him again.