Help!!

How are we dealing with tantrums? I come from a family that encourages “popping”children and I’m wholly against that and believe there’s another way. My twins are screaming, jumping and throwing themselves on the ground (mainly my daughter) and I’m not really sure what to do. I do sometimes pick her up to hold her but I’m not sure if I’m encouraging the behavior.

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Start rewarding her when she doesn’t get her way and she’s calm about it. Instead of “no” give her an alternative. Like for instance she wants to go outside tell her “not right now, let’s do some arts and crafts” , or offer her a snack or her favorite movie. Try to distract her from the tantrum. If she’s throwing a fit try to spend time with her, play, color, or just play some music and start dancing. Don’t give her a snack during the tantrum that would be like “rewarding” it but give her the snack after she’s calmed down to show her you get positivity from calmness.

I'll say "we're all done and you can try again with a better attitude or you can take a moment in your room"
This took a while for it to stick well but now she'll (2.5 yrs) will either immediately stop and take a breath and then either sulk for a bit before saying " I'm ready to try again" or if she doesn't then I pick her up and place her in her room with the lights off and door cracked. I'll tell her I'll be back in 2 minutes to check in and by the time I'm back she's calmed down and we'll talk about why she needed a minute. I always end it with a "I love you" and hugs and snuggles and then a "are you ready to try again" and shes usually reset by then

Granted, her room is literally a mattress on the ground and nothing else so I feel comfortable letting her stay there for two minutes on her own, so you might need to create or find a different space you feel comfortable doing this with. She's also older than your littles but we started this around 1.5

And back then it was more of us talking at her and now it's developed into us talking through the situations and feelings together. I think the biggest thing here is separating them from the situation and putting them somewhere safe where they can reset and express their big feelings

I usually offer her water and wait until she's ready to take a sip. Sometimes she wants something like she's tired or hungry but water helps them reset their breathing and gives me a second to breathe too before finding alternate activities

I told my daughter that I can’t hear her when she yells and if she starts yelling, I give her a warning that mom is turning off her ears, and if she doesn’t stop, then I walk away and eventually she calms down and wants to talk about it

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