Mom's going through divorce/separation/ breakups

Abusive Husband

Im really looking for advice on leaving your abusive husband when you have (a) child(ren.) Im looking for advice as a sahm who unfortunately is very sick right now. On how to get out and ensure your baby is syill going to be taken care of when you havent been able to work. Some background of what im going through Hes trying to get a "co parent" in the home situation (a together but seperate) but my alarms go off on that because he knows hes been abusive and that would be represented in court. I dont know how court would go with custody hes trying to push for 50/50 and the thought of me not being able to know how hes treating my baby during that time makes me sick to my stomach. I dont have the best relationship with my family but they'll still "help" where they can. Hes abused me financially, mentally, physically, sexually, hes isolated me from my family. His is in his ear making up all kinds of wild things and even enabling the abuse. My family tells me I need to sit down with him and talk about a divorce, but ive tried I just get a run around, he gets aggressive when I try to assert any type of power and ive been trying to do the fake it till you can walk away and its not working with how abusive he is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

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My suggestion: if you or your child are unsafe, leave.

Beyond that, stay where you are unless your lawyer says otherwise; talk to a lawyer.

Is there anyway you can get video of his abuse? Is there anyway you can “admit” abuse in texts messages?

What you’re describing is abuse, and your concerns about the “living together but separated” idea are completely understandable. You do not have to agree to something that feels unsafe just to make things easier for him.

Please don’t think that being a SAHM or not working means your baby won’t be okay or that you’ll automatically lose custody. Courts look at who has been the primary caregiver and the overall safety of the child.

I’d really encourage you to quietly start documenting things and reach out to a domestic violence service or legal aid before making any big moves. You don’t have to handle this alone, and you don’t owe him a sit-down conversation if he becomes aggressive when you try.

pls contact Women's Aid especially if you are in danger/feel you cant leave. I know it's hard to leave when you have nothing to your name. I was lucky and my family helped. Is there anyone who can help you? Is he likely to go away any time soon for a day or night? x

If you're in a state where you can record him without consent then that would be my first recommendation. Even if its audio only. I did this and it was submissable as evidence for felony and misdemeanor charges. Please gather your evidence and leave. The abuse you are receiving WILL be the abuse your child receives eventually.

I left 2 months ago. I'm a SAHM as well. My sheriff's department had an amazing victims advocate that pointed me in the direction of a tremendous amount of support. Filing a protective order will place temporary custody of the child to you. Please message me if you need any more info, I dont mind helping at all. 💜 You are important mama and that little one needs you.

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