I DONT LOVE YOU

My 4.5 year old has been saying this when she doesnt get her own way.
Its been going on a few months, ive no idea where shes got it from.
Ive tried ignoring it and tried explaining its hurtful and she still does it.
When I sit her down at times and say its hurtful she gets upset and says sorry but then does it again a few hours/day later.
She says it to me, her dad, my mum -all closest people.
She will shout "i dont love them" to me about someone she isnt close to that upsets her/annoys her.
Her dad really struggles with it and shouted at her yesterday as it really upsets him and he struggles with his emotions, ive told him shes 4 and she's doesnt mean it but he takes it very personal.
Has anyone got advice on this?

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From my (albeit limited) experience… this is normal. My now 4.5 year old went through this around 4?

I personally always responded neutrally with “ok. Well I love you”.

No idea whether there’s a better way to respond or not but the way I saw it, it didn’t make it seem like I was telling him that he didn’t feel what he thought he felt (like saying “you don’t mean that” or similar), but it also didn’t give any power to those particular words either (as in he didn’t realise it would provoke a reaction). And also I was giving him the message “I love you no matter what”.

If any of that makes sense.

Anyway it didn’t last very long. Whether we will go through it all again at some point I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

“It’s ok to express your feelings, but I still love you” move on, don’t make a song and dance about it, it is nasty and mean but it’s just an explosion of emotion. I think the more attention you give it sometimes the more of a consistent habit it becomes! X

My play nephew says it a lot. He is 5 and doesn’t understand but I feel like your husband and it still hurts.

My daughter or son never have said this.

Maybe teach her…”i dnt like you very much right now” as an alternative. Or I dnt like this. Maybe look into teaching kids how to manage emotions. Thriving mind montessori on youtube has great advice.

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