Intimacy

Hey mamas I have a question and a little vent I need advice on.. my husband has constantly made me feel it's an obligation to give him anal and nothing else. I've done everything he's asked for 9yrs almost. And now I am tired of it. Anal does not suit me and it doesn't please me. My husband this morning since I refuse to give him what he wants told me "you'll regret it when I find someone else who will do it" 😭 like come on I never get to enjoy sex but he does. And when I refuse him he gets like that. I've allowed it for 9yrs since our son has been born. No vaginal just anal and my body is hurting. My ovaries hurt, and sad part is he kept saying we could have a 2nd baby and only ever wants anal 😭 I'm now scared from all the anal he's put me through that I might not be able to have any more babies 😭😭 does anyone know what I can do. I really don't have anywhere to go and no vehicle. I'm sad and feeling betrayed. We used to have actual sex before our son and since he's been born all my husband ever wants is anal.

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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this babe 🤗 You're absolutely right to refuse him - you should only agree to the kind of sex you actually enjoy and, really, you shouldn't even have to argue that at all. It's extremely sad and troubling that you do. It seema your husband does not care for your pleasure at all... Short of saying 'just leave him, girl, if he does not believe your pleasure is important, he's clearly as as***', all I can think of: do you think he will go to therapy with you? If he doesn't listen to you, maybe he will listen to a professional saying this is not a healthy attitude to sex or your relationship?

Wow sorry to hear that it’s terrible! Do you have support and resources to turn to ? What he’s doing is not right and if the only thing that satisfies him is anal I also have some other question marks popping up

This is absolutely sexual assault and abusive. You deserve so much better and need to leave this situation. Easier said than done of course but I worry for your safety tbh

Oh gosh.. It's sounds like he's using your body for masturbation as HE is the only one actually enjoying it. Please don't let him use your body anymore - especially after NINE YEARS!! Girl, you deserve so much better.. Also, if he's only interested in anal, maybe there's something about his attraction that he's hiding.. Sending you lots of love girl 🥺💕

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Did she do it on purpose?

My dad and brother when they were young, had an episode of manic behaviour due to high stress. The other day I was talking with my cousin and she asked how my little boy is. I told her he is a bit wild and having lots of energy compared to his sister. Then she said something like “ oh you know in every family we have dregs/ scum , maybe he is like your crazy dad and brother” and made it as a joke
Also her brother sufferers from depression and she can’t get pregnant.

Is it normal in a marriage to feel like roommates?

We are pregnant with our second, been married 4 years, I feel no attention or effort in my marriage towards my needs (more so emotionally) and it's been 7 years.

My husband is on contract work for now

I feel sad and like nothing changes. He's more invested in our daughter than I feel he is our marriage and I'm not feeling very happy

It’s making me so angry

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His side of family keep saying it in polish and I have asked multiple times for them to say it and spell it the English way

Other day was it’s birthday - they kept doing it all the presents was all to do with learning polish when I sent them a birthday list etc it’s just making me so angry

They have even said to my partner ‘we will make him polish’

When they are around me they speak polish all day (even at my son birthday party) I have said multiple times I don’t like it as I don’t know what’s going on or what they are saying

We have a day out with them Saturday and I’m dreading it

My partner completely understands where I’m coming from worst thing is even the kids speak to in polish when I’m trying to interact and speak to them being nice so I just say quite. They can all speak read and understand English

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I yelled at my 4 year old

She wouldnt stop waking up crying tonight.
The first two times i was still awake so i went in & talked her down & she pinky promised shed go to sleep. I told her "I'm going to sleep now too, im not coming back in"
And of course as soon as i fall asleep she wakes up crying again.
My husband tries to calm her down but of course she only wants mommy.
Being awoken like this enrages me. It always has; even before having children.
I go into her room steaming anger saying I TOLD U I WASNT COMING BACK IN WHY ARE YOU CRYING STILl. And i know i scared her but what the fuck else am i supposed to do?? Going to her calmly doesnt stop her from waking. Talking about it during the day doesnt help either. She does this like once a month??
And im just the shit mom who yells at her daughter at night once a month. Idk wtf to do. My husband says let her cry but then I CANT SLEEP. which pisses me off more. I cant win. & shes just gonna keep doing it cause shes a kid & she cant help it.

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So far advice is just to feed her more but she doesn't want to. I've tried offering a top up after an hour and she's not interested. If we force her to finish her bottle she gets angry and just spits up. I don't really see what the feeding team could do and would rather just bypass and go to the next step if anyone knows what that is.