My husband and I just bought a house but I feel mentally checked out.
He’s a good provider, I good dad but he works long hours 50+. He thinks he doesn’t need to help with the house even though we agreed he would help when he can. I’m pregnant and getting to where I can’t bend or carry too much now.
He has made a lot of growth, he has been verbally abusive but has been better. Today he calls me stupid and an idiot and tells me to stop crying all the time. He feels like he doesn’t get alot of attention but I have to take care of the dog, and our 2 other children. I feel bad but also just tired of going back and forth. He said I don’t have responsibilities in the morning and I should just tend to him. I do though.
Idk what to do we just bought a house together and have 3 kids.
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A grown man’s ideal life should not be that of an adult toddler. He’s a stupid idiot who needs to stop crying that you’ve got a family you’re building TOGETHER that all the responsibilities of fall on you, so there’s no time left for him to get attention.
If he wants more time & attention from you, him assisting in simple tasks at home would be a fantastic way for him to get that, but he wants to be a baby himself it seems.
Is couples counselling an option? It's not okay for him to treat you this way. Your children will grow up to learn that name calling is okay. If you have boys they may end up thinking it's okay to treat woman like this, and if you have a girl she may think it's okay for men to treat her like this. If couples counselling isn't an option, maybe you could do individual counselling to get some support with how to navigate this. At the end of the day, if this behavior is normal for him and continues then it might be time to seriously consider if this is what you want out of a marriage. It's not healthy.
Remember the only reason he can work all those hours is because you carry the home load. He only has energy to survive because you cook and shop for food. Expenses for child care would kill your savings if you worked too. He needs to realize you are his other half and unless he wants you to work and he take less work to spend with the kids and his own housework, he can shove it. Only idiots think pregnant woman can do everything alone.
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