I want to admit myself to the psych ward

I know this will be long, but someone please read it, I’m desperate.

I’ve suffered with my mental health for as long as I can remember. 3 suicide attempts (1 very serious and 2 were pathetic tbh). In and out of therapy, on and off different meds. Nothing has ever helped. I’m 26 now, I first tried therapy and meds at age 13.

My son is now 3. I’ve always struggled as a parent tbh, I love him to pieces but I find it so exhausting. I’m a single parent and apart from nursery hours I do it 100% alone. It’s just us and my dog.

I’ve always had passing suicide thoughts and just generally miserable. But lately it’s next level. On the phone to Samaritans every night, crying, feeling trapped, screen time is 10+ hours, I don’t play with my son at all, I’m easily irritated. I’m being a really really bad mum. You’re supposed to want to live for you kids, but when you’re being a shitty parent and can’t snap out of it, what good are you?

I cannot feel hopeful anymore. I just want it to be over with. I could admit myself to a psych ward but where would my son and dog go? I could kill myself but can’t do that whilst they’re both in the house but I’m always with them?

I can’t do this anymore I really can’t

in our community

Sleeping on his front

My little boy has started sleeping on his front, 5 months old. He sleeps with his hands on his face, face down. I’m so paranoid when I see him like this so I try tilt his head or move him back onto his back but it just wakes him up. He’s breathing ok but I can’t settle once I know he’s like that.
Anyone else’s baby doing this?

Breastfeeding

I am feeling so deflated at the moment with breastfeeding… I am 3 weeks pp on Monday and been breastfeeding since the beginning. Had some problems with tongue tie which resulted in my nipples being very sore and cracked so moved onto pumping to let them heal. His tongue tie has now been sorted so been trying to latch him back on my boobs and his latch is so much better but having him on my boobs more has caused my nipples to become sore again as they have not fully healed from all the pumping. I have tried everything, nipple cream and silver shields. I am at a lost and not sure what to do!

Newborn trenches

How are people coping with the newborn trenches? I feel like I’m just trying to survive!

Baby is now 4 weeks old and I have barely left the house with her, I feel too nervous to go out by myself - I’ve only just managed to go a quick walk with her in the pram! Luckily she just slept as she does enjoy her pram and I’d assume the sensation when moving. I’m a first time mama and just find myself completely overwhelmed when I think about taking her out to a coffee shop, restaurant, or to the shops etc! And not only that - being unsure on what to pack!! how many bottles,nappies, change of clothes?? I feel so guilty not taking her out much so we tend to stay in a lot and I think that’s making me worse mentally, I wish I could be better at this. 😢

I wonder if anyone else feels this way?

I need to know if I’m overreacting

It’s 1:46am and I’m with my family in a hotel room. (Me, hubby, our 3yo) the people that have the room next to us are loud af and I want to know if calling the front desk is extra

For context, I’ve already called the front desk because they were banging on the door for like 10 minutes.

High chairs!

We are buying a high chair as baby girl is approaching 6 months!

I was going to get the standard IKEA one, as I figured that it wasn’t worth splurging on a more expensive one!
But I would prefer a high chair that folds up…

Is it worth spending £50 plus on a high chair, or are they all pretty much the same?
Does anyone have any recommendations?

Which wearable breast pump to get? 😃

I’d really appreciate advice as to which brand you’d recommend, thank you!!