Would you yell at your toddlers for playing in the toilet/litter box?

I'm really, really trying to change my reactions to my kids. I read on a gentle parenting group that yelling is okay when someone is in danger but does that include germ danger and things like that? I also know that having a big reaction can cause them to want to do it again... How would you handle these situations if you wouldn't yell? I'm a newly single mom and just doing my best after just moving and trying to figure this out, please don't judge me harshly. I want to be a safe person for my kids more than anything in the world but the parenting that was modeled to me was absolutely not okay. I want to do something different so I need examples of what to shift to

in our community

How are you doing it all?

My husband is not happy with our sexlife. I don't do it enough and don't do porn star performance.
I try to pour into myself regularly, skincare, hair, light makeup, dressing up, gym and dance classes.
He listed these things out like they were a problem. I'll ask him to watch the kids so I can xyz. Gym and dance classes are normally after I put the kids to bed but thats when he wants my time and attention.
He literally argued for an hour last night. He's done this 3 times, always late into the night when im not in the head space and super tired. By the time he finished his point and calmed down, I believe it was 3 am. And we didnt go to bed until 5 am. He wanted sex, I participated and performed it was enjoyable at first but then it got annoying. I was tired and these days sleep always sounds better than sex he just took so long to finish I was actually getting pissed off.
Today I woke up, I threw on jeans and a tshirt. Basic moisturizer and sunscreen no makeup and clipped my hair back. I wanted to cry. Im worried he's gonna keep complaining about my hobbies and I'll end up quitting to keep the peace.
I'm not perfect, dishes and laundry pile up, the hoise isnt always presentable and food isnt always done sometimes he comes home from work to cook and clean. He feels like hes always helping me with my job but no one is there to help him do his.
I have an appointment next month hoping the Dr can give me something to improve mood and productivity.

Nursery

What age/ the best age and a good age u put ur children into nursery and for how many days each week and hours each day?
Been accepted for 2 different nursery both the same days but different hours and the first day to start nursery are different
First baby so unsure with everything and how it all works thank you

At home with a new born and a toddler

I have a newborn and a 2 year old and they’re not in day care (by choice- I love being at home with them), but my husband has been on paternity leave for the past 3 months and is going back to work next week. I’m a little nervous to be at home alone with both of them trying to juggle the breastfeeding, meals for my toddler, nap times for both, etc etc. Any tips from moms in similar situations?

Venting

My husband lets the baby cry her lungs out till she falls asleep she’s only 1 month old. Maybe im tripping idk, but it makes me upset when he does this because how hard is it to soothe her? It’s not hard and just seeing her laying there crying her lungs out, turning red and tears coming down her face breaks my heart. Obviously I would step in, but I have a feeling he does this so I would stop asking him to watch the baby or take care of here while I get things done. I’ve talked to him about it and he just brushes it off and says “she needs to cry it out”. Has anyone’s partner done the same ?

Need advice

So I’ve been with my fiance for about 2.5 years. I got pregnant pretty much as soon as we got together. I never wanted kids, but decided that since he already had kids, it would be okay. Fast forward two years later, I’m a stay at home mom who has never not worked a day in her life. My husband is the sole provider and he doesn’t make enough money for us to comfortably live. I can’t go back to work bc we don’t have family and daycare is expensive. All we do is stress about money and fight about stupid shit. I’ve felt like I lost my purpose. I feel like I made a mistake. I’m so in love with him. But this is not the life I want. Idk what to do, or how to tell him.

Am I doing something wrong?

I just had a C-section last Monday. I am able to do things but not unless I take my pain meds as prescribed. My partner is here to help me but he sleeps very hard and very deep. He can sleep through the baby crying sometimes. He tells me to wake him up and I try very hard but it always leads to us arguing. Last night it was pretty bad. He claims I kicked him in the rib cage which I didn’t. I did however use my foot to rub his sides. Mind you, before all this I tapped him, talked to him, etc. He responded but I guess it was a fluke because he doesn’t remember that. Only when I “kicked” him.

Today I did it all. Got our 5 year old out the door and been with our 2 week old all day. He came home from dropping off our 5 yo and has been sleep ever since because he said he’s only been getting 3 hours of rest. Am I wrong to start resenting him?