So my soon to be 2 yo usually isn't a jealous girl, she shares her toys with others, is kind and loveable ect. Adores her older brother and sister but today I watched my baby nephew who is 1 breifly while my sister went to the store and he was fussing so I was walking around talking to him to calm him down and my daughter was at my feet the whole time crying too! Which just escalated and they both w we re crying at rhwbsame time lol It was close to nap time for both of them to be fair, but I had to recruit my older nephew to come hold my younger nephew so I could calm my girl down too, we ended up just sitting on the couch together holding them until my sister got back, lol. I'm due to have a baby in a few months and I'm worried she's going to be like this when baby comes, any advice? My sister says it will probably be different since they will be siblings.. I tell her all the time that mommy has a baby in her tummy and she will come lift my shirt and pet my belly and give it kisses and smile, she carrys around her baby doll and gives it lots of cuddles ect. She's very affectionate but she is a major mommy's girl, she's almost always on my lap when we are out and about, I am her primary care giver and she was also breast fed until she was 17 months old. How do I help this process go smooth. What am I doing wrong? 🥲
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You gave a big clue in your post - both kids were tired and due a nap. It's also an abnormal situation, so the routine is disrupted. The kids were very likely just at or nearing the limits of what they could handle, and your daughter naturally reached for you as her primary caregiver, then had a temporary moment of meltdown when you weren't freely and immediately available. It's a nervous system thing more than a jealousy thing.
I found a decent YouTube awhile back that explains some of the psychology of older siblings, when a new baby comes along - it changes their brains in some interesting ways, and yes, there will probably be some jealousy, but it's healthy and normal, and a sign of strong attachment. The video explains it pretty well.
https://youtu.be/S7tPB0plo4M?si=9_STgl_pYJXaIL3I