Is it possible to actually fix a broken marriage?

On the verge of divorce after struggling for a long time:
- not being heard
- carrying 98% of the mental load
- zero sex life because HE doesn’t want to (body image he says, so many feelings of rejection for me)
- I organise all the domestic stuff (keeping nappies stocked, most cooking, cleaning etc)
- I do most of the gardening
- I do 99% of the childcare + work
- I make most of the life decisions (he is complacent or “isn’t sure”)
- he meets 5-10% of my needs despite me having had MANY serious chats with him while I’m bawling and at breaking point. (My needs are pretty simple too… quality time, more balance etc)

He:
- works a mix of from office and from home
- Mows the lawn every 2-4 weeks
- meal preps for himself (sometimes asks me if I want anything)
- scrolls social media on the toilet for 15-30 minutes each time, around 6-10 times a day.
-wakes early to go to gym
-plays on his PlayStation when he gets back rather than doing housework etc.
- never makes time for me or wants to connect
-thinks everything is fine

I get ZERO time to myself and am exhausted and last night I cracked. I went to hospital for heart attack symptoms (i have been very stressed), he left a work event early to come to see me and was worried. But he picked me up after I was discharged I wanted to have a shower and our baby started crying for me, and he goes “can you hurry up”…. I just paused and thought to myself, I’ve just come home from the emergency department for a heart attack scare, I have blood all over my arms from trying to find my veins, I’m exhausted, and you’re asking me to hurry up so I can look after the baby?! We started fighting and he said “I left work early for you, a thank you would be nice”. I was shocked, to me if your partner is in the ED for heart concerns, leaving work is the bare minimum and I wouldn’t even expect the person to say thank you, let alone rush a shower to look after the crying baby after that.

Anyways, that’s when I cracked and said I was done, finished, wanted a separation because I can’t do it anymore. It took a few seconds but I think he realised how bad things were at that point, for an hour he basically begged me to not say that, apologising over and over crying. I held my ground because I’ve been thinking of divorce for a while but there is a tiny option in my head to do couples counselling as he suggested it.

So my question is, has anyone been where I am? And if so, were you able to fix/improve your marriage to an acceptable extent? Did your partner actually work on themselves to change?
Are you happy now after having worked on things?
Did you fall back in love with your partner after working on things?

in our community

Help, baby dad problem

What would you do?
Yesterday morning I asked my partner to get up with our 1 year old as I do it every morning and I’m exhausted, he’s a 5am waker. He said he wanted another hour as he was nightshift that night so I said alright and got up and on with it, took baby down for milk. About 30 mins later I went upstairs (he didn’t hear me come up) to find him w*nking off?!! Watching p*rn and pleasuring himself while he can hear his 1 year old playing clear as day downstairs. Bedroom door and living room door wide open. I think what he has done is absolutely vile and at the moment I can’t even look at him. I don’t know what to do from here? I also think if he can do that and get off while he can hear his child playing downstairs he needs to go to some sort of therapy for that? Any advice appreciated.

PLAYGROUND
Do you actively watch your child?

Do you actively watch your child or do you look from time to time when out at the park, outdoor activities, water/splash parks?

Took my LO to the splash park today. She wasn’t feeling it much so we changed clothes and my mom took her to swing. I stayed for a little break. This child I’ll say about 5-6 causally walks up to this lady with his swim pants down to his knees exposed. The lady says nothing. After about 3 mins she asks where his mom was the child didn’t respond, she then shouts out “where is this child’s momma. Hello child’s mother, please get this child away from me.” All while child proceeds to take off the rest of his clothes and runs off. 😳😳 He is now on the floor in the splash park. Mother still not insight. She finally appears trying to get him off the floor with no success he goes to sprint off again running and knocking both him and another boy child about 8-9 on the floor. 😳😳

This was all in the matter of about 7-8 mins. No supervision. Injured another child, and the mother is just nervously smiling chasing after her child. No apology to the mother of the child her child knocked down. Then the momma yelling “get this child away from me.”SMH I could only imagine what’s going through her head. I mean I wouldn’t use those choices of words but had her child been knocked over running away the initial time I guess I get it.

My LO is 16 months and I was already anxious with outdoor adventures. After today I think I’m okay on outings for the rest of the summer. I’ll wait til everyone goes back to school. 😅

Can someone please tell me if I’m overreacting

A while ago i found out my husband was letting his female friend talk shit about me n he was talking shit as well about me and as someone that I love so much it obviously hurt me so bad I constantly think about it and ask myself why he would do that I bring it up because the first time we talked about it you could see on his face that it didn’t really bother him n that he was getting annoyed by the questions i asked him so it feels like the whole thing is unresolved I have really bad anxiety so it pops up into my head quite often I brought it up to him again because I can’t wrap my head around it and as always he seemed annoyed because I asked him why he did it and he said “i said sorry what else do you want me to do” it was in a text btw where he said sorry long story short he said I was just trying to start a argument because I bring up everything when everything is back to normal can someone tell me if I am overreacting

Difference in opinions with in-laws for raising a baby

It seems that everything is so opposite now a days in raising a baby than it was in the past. It gets so frustrating when they offer to help but have difference in opinions of the best ways.. Anyone care to share some experiences and how you handled it? I find it always difficult to set rules or boundaries.

Maama needs help 😭

Hey girls, I really need some advice and would love to hear your opinions.

I have a very active 3-year-old toddler and a 7-month-old baby. My 7-month-old refuses purées and spoon-feeding completely. Every time I try to offer purées, mashed foods, or feed him with a spoon, he gets really frustrated, starts fussing and crying, and refuses to eat.

I’ve tried giving him his own spoon while I feed him with another one, and I’ve also tried distracting him with toys, but nothing seems to help. He just gets upset, and by the end of it, we’re both frustrated and there’s food everywhere.

When I offer finger foods or solids, he’s interested in touching them, squishing them, and making a mess with them, but he hardly puts any food into his mouth. Even when he does, he usually spits it back out. At the end of the day, it feels like he hasn’t actually eaten anything and is still relying entirely on milk.

I also don’t have a lot of extra time to prepare elaborate meals because I’m looking after both kids, so I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible.

Has anyone been through something similar? Is this normal for a 7-month-old? Do you have any tips or suggestions that might help him become more interested in actually eating rather than just playing with the food?

I feel quite sad and worried because it seems like he’s not really eating any solids at all. I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences you can share. ❤️

Picky eater

Hi my 19m old has gotten pickier since he turned 1. He mainly functions off of breakfast sausage, occasional oatmeal, chicken nuggets, ground beef mixed with something no noodles unless spaghetti, occasional quesadilla, pizza but only meat eater with no ham, and pouches that’s the only way I’m able to get veggies down him, chips, nutter butters, red weenies, belvita breakfast cookies. I try my hardest to get him to try new things but he refuses, I offer him what we’re eating and he’ll just throw it to the floor. I need help please.