Help

I’m posting anonymously because I’m honestly embarrassed and don’t really know who else to ask. I’m a young mom to a 6-month-old, and I feel like I’m completely drowning right now.

My daughter’s dad and I have been going through a really painful separation. We’ve gone back and forth between trying to fix things and realizing that things may never be healthy between us. There has been a lot of hurt, resentment, broken trust, arguing and feeling like I’ve been replaced. I still care about him, but at the same time I feel like I’ve lost so much respect for the way certain things have been handled. It’s exhausting trying to coparent with someone while also grieving the relationship and still being emotionally attached.

I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove that I’m growing, apologizing and fixing everything, while also taking care of our baby and trying to keep my own life together. I’m currently behind on bills and waiting on money that was supposed to be deposited. I’m trying to figure out rent, childcare, work and how to provide for my daughter, and it feels like everything is falling apart at the same time.

Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly hopeless, numb and overwhelmed. I love my daughter more than anything, and she is the reason I keep pushing, but I’m scared that I’m not strong enough to keep carrying all of this by myself. I feel guilty for even admitting that because I know she deserves a mom who has it together, but I genuinely feel like I’m running on empty.

I’m not looking for judgment, relationship bashing or people telling me to “just leave and move on.” I’m looking for advice from moms who have been through a painful breakup, financial hardship and postpartum emotions all at once. How did you rebuild your life? How did you emotionally detach while still having to coparent? How did you stop feeling like your whole future was gone? And are there any resources for struggling moms that actually helped you?

Please be kind. It took a lot for me to post this.

in our community

Does your husband ask for consent every time he touches you?

Tell me what is wrong with these messages. For reference this morning my 4 year old crawled into bed with my husband and I who was sleeping naked. He tried to pull down my shirt and do stuff with my boob's and I told him no. Now because im breast feeding sometimes when we're intimate ill just tell him I dont want my boob's touched but this time I meant no all together and said because our daughter was in our bed. He proceeds to stick his hands down my shorts and I again say no and I push his hand away. He storms off this morning. Screenshot in comments

Men have it "easier"

Men and women definitely have their own hardships, but I feel like majority of men will never understand how much harder it is to be a women.

Women are held to such high expectations, there's so much judgement around anything we do from men and even other women.

It's like nothing you do is ever right. Even if you ignore everyone else and their unnecessary opinions, I feel like it still gets to you eventually.

Most women are also living their lives in fear because of men who have traumatized them. Chances are if you see a women, nine times out of ten that women has probably been abused by a man emotionally, physically, sexually, or more than one.

Take childbirth into consideration.

For men it's just 30 seconds and then they go about their business, not for women. We sacrifice our body and mind to carry children, nourish them, and protect them. While some men check themselves out, cheating because "we never have sex anymore" or even just straight up leaving.

Women are almost always depicted as dramatic or hormonal. Expected to do it all and keep a smile on your face the whole time. It's ok for a man to need a break, but when a women does she's a bad mother.

Most men just don't understand what it's like, and they never will.

I really wanted 3 children

I really wanted 3 children but my husband is a hard no. Deep down I know he's right. My age, my body, money, time with the 2 we have, our youngest has been extremely hard work but I just can't shake that sadness of never holding my own newborn again. It doesn't help that I seem to have lost ALL memory of the first few months with both my children. I just can't remember it. Is that normal?

Mourning my old life

I’m a ftm with a 2 week old boy. I love him so much and can’t wait to have more babies but I can’t help but mourn my old life with my partner. I feel like I have baby blues but not related to baby stuff (I don’t mind all the stuff that come with raising my baby), but I feel like I’m grieving the freedom I had in my old life. I miss my partner and the relationship we used to have. I miss being able to go to the gym whenever I wanted or walk the dogs whenever or eat whenever. I miss going to sleep with my partner (we have different bed times now) and I miss doing my evening routine with him (he does the evening shift so I don’t see him then). I feel like I’ve ruined his life bc he doesn’t really have a girlfriend anymore. I’m too busy with the baby to prioritise him. Also bc I’m exclusively breastfeeding, this baby is attached at my hip. I baby wear him all day and I’m the one who feeds him and changes him. I feel like I’m no longer me. I’m me and baby. I feel sorry for my partner that he doesn’t have access to just me anymore. I miss him so much.

Does this even make sense? Does anyone else feel this way? Will it pass? When?

Food pouches

Are you judging parents who use food pouches for their babies ? Ie Ella’s kitchen ect

What do you think?

I need a third party outside perspective.

My boyfriend and I got in a fight last week, and I decided to stay at my sister’s house. My child was with a sitter over night, and I just figured I’d rather have a girls night with her than go home alone.

Now my house is currently under renovations, so I have unhung drywall resting against the walls downstairs and in the upstairs hallway.

Anyways, I got home the next morning and all the drywall in the hallway was crumpled into tiny pieces, and tossed in the bathroom entryway. Nothing else in the house was moved or touched. My door was unlocked that night.

Now I left my house the day before around 2, when the contractor was still working, and didn’t come home til next morning, so I assumed maybe they had an accident or something. I texted him. The contractor swears they didn’t do it, and said they don’t know how that would’ve happened, because nothing else was touched and if someone broke in, they had tools and stuff worth a lot of money that was untouched. My cash savings were untouched. And nothing else looks out of place.

I called my boyfriend right away, and he agreed it was weird and asked how they got in, I told him the door was unlocked, and he yelled at me because he’s always telling me to lock my door. But he swears it wasn’t him, and I believed him.

My parents think my boyfriend didn’t though. They asked who else would have motive and said it’s weird that the drywall was the only thing damaged. But if he was mad at me, I don’t know why he’d ruin the unhung drywall and not my other valuables? He knows where I keep everything. Also, he’s never just gone into my house and broken stuff before, and I was on the phone with him most of the night I was at my sisters house while he cried and begged me to come back to his place.

I don’t know what to think honestly.