Boundaries on providing labour updates

I’m overdue and due to baby movements and dropping from 56th to 28th percentile an induction has been advised, which is opposite to what I envisioned. The last week for me has been stressful with hospital monitoring and scans.

The issue is my husband’s sisters have requested for him to give an update on everything, I’m not close to them.

During their labours (even until this day), they explicitly asked him to not share anything with me. To the extent of asking him to not tell me one of their babies was born until weeks later. I understood then and I understand now, neither was I offended by their choices.

Firstly, I want my labour/induction experience to be private and avoid people calling and texting for updates. I don’t think it’s necessary to know what I’m experiencing or receive live updates unless you are my parent, one of my birthing partners or particularly close. All my friends haven’t even asked for regular updates, just a “let me know you’re ok when you’re ready.”

Secondly, something about his sisters wanting updates is particularly triggering for me now.

Just needed to get this off my chest but some of their actions/requests around labour and postpartum are beginning to irritate me.

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Before we had our son we told all of our family, not just one side ALL of them that they will not know when I go in or when hes born and that we would reach out after I was settled and everything was ok. We wanted that time to be just for us and not have to worry about one of our phones blowing up asking for updates when I needed my husband to be fully present with me. They hated us for it but I didnt care and stood my ground. Its not their baby or body. They dont reserve the right! Do what youre comfortable with mama!!

Dont feel bad about not telling them. Its better to ask for forgiveness than permission. They'll get over it! Its not even their business. You tell who you feel comfortable telling and dont let anyone make you feel bad for that! This is your body your choice!

They might worry just because the percentile dropped. They want to know the safety of their baby niece or nephew who is part of their family as well as your safety. You can let them know that you appreciate their caring but that you want to avoid too much attention because it adds to your anxiety but that you will update them as often as you are comfortable with. They probably just care and not trying to be purely nosey.

I just realized that they did not want to share information with you and now they want to know everything. It not fair. They probably do just care. But I see your frustration.

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