Unwanted Cosleeping
Tell me if I’m justified in being mad about this.
I have always said I will never cosleep. My only reason is because I don’t like being touched while I sleep. I just don’t sleep well at all and wake up all night.
We have a 1 year old and a 2 year old that share a bedroom. I put my 1 year old down first and then my husband puts our 2 year old down. Well he started putting her down in our bed with him and he falls asleep and doesn’t transfer her. I don’t want to then transfer her in fear that she wakes up and then I have to stay up with her until she goes back to sleep.
She was also the best sleeper ever. I would put her down in her crib and say goodnight and she would go to sleep. My husband ruined it and would stand there and talk to her and rub her back so she no longer puts herself to sleep.
She also only sleeps on my side of the bed and she will pee. So now 3 times in the past month I have woken up in a puddle of pee.
Im furious. She shouldn’t be in our bed and he makes it very clear that he doesn’t care and if im unhappy about it then i should put her to bed. I know some will say thats the obvious answer but I literally do everything else when it comes to my kids. So I want him to help with bedtime. It’s not too much to ask.
Would you be upset?
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Yes you already know you are justified in being upset. The real problem here is that you have allowed yourself to "literally do everything" when it comes to the kids, and your husband is lazy. His behavior isn't very loving, and I would also wonder does he even like you. He knows you don't want to cosleep because you don't like bing touched and you don't sleep well, yet he literally went to sleep with your daughter in yalls bed, on your side of the bed. He knows this isn't the routine, yet he's ruined it. Him breaking your established routine, only inconveniences you. You have disturbed sleep, and she pees the bed. He already told you he doesn't care when you complained. So tell me why is this man your husband? How did you manage to give him two children? Cause I just know he didn't just start this behavior. This does not have to be your life but it will continue like this until you make some real change
Yes I would be very upset.. when my husband wouldn’t follow through with teaching our son independent sleep, I told him he will be the one getting up every hour to walk/bouncy/rock him back to sleep. So he either does things the way I expect him to ( I’m also mostly in charge when it comes to the kids’ stuff ) or he can handle whatever happens during the night.
If you can, sleep in the living room for a few nights then see how he’d feel if he woke up in urine..
sometimes they have to learn the hard way.. honestly worse than the kids themselves at times🙈
If it will help, you can also swap and he does the 1 year old’s bedtime instead?
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