Not myself anymore

I dont know what to do or who to be since having a baby.
I was never meant to get pregnant. I didnt plan it and had no idea what type of mother I would be.
I have been out with friends to the pub with my boyfriend and baby. His life is exactly the same. Mine has changed completely. We had the baby in the beer garden with us and it was me being judged, not him.
I dont feel myself anymore. I cant do any of my usual hobbies. I cant run yet I cant drink with friends. I am not breast feeding. I feel like my baby doesnt even need me. Sometimes I have terrible thoughts I could just walk out of the house and keep walking and she would never need me in life.
I love her more than anything I just dont feel needed or like I am good enough mother. I dont know who I am anymore.

in our community

First little ponytails

I had to.... they wasn't too tight and litrally in for like 2 minutes. But I cant wait to be able to this properly with her when shes older.

Nap time

Where are you all putting your little ones to sleep? Baby is 4 months old and currently naps in his Moses basket in the living room with the TV on and me coming in and out etc. should I be putting him in his crib? I read somewhere that daytime naps should be light and noisy (to an extent) so they can differentiate, but thinking I should try him upstairs in our bedroom?

Head smacking

My 13 month old has started smacking himself on the head. It’s usually when he’s frustrated but he’s never done it before. Anyone else’s doing this and any possible idea why?!

Walking

My 16 month old has just started confidently walking recently and I’ve noticed that he walks on the insides of his feet but on his right foot it’s much more noticeable like his ankle rolls in more.

Is that just normal when little ones first start walking and as they get more confident they flatten out their foot more or should I take him to see someone about about it?

Does it get easier?

My husband is high functioning Asperger’s and everytime our LO cries, he gets overwhelmed and can never attend to her - meaning I have to rush and come back home or run to her.

He shuts down and stares rather than call my help to stop it getting to this point.

I appreciate he thinks he’s giving me a break but makes it worse as I now have to regulate them both 🫠

Any tips as I just want to enjoy 5 mins to myself without having to always jump in because the times I show him my tricks - he’d rather play video games or be on his phone!

He is also having difficulty bonding due to postpartum depression

He keeps saying when she’s older it’ll help him as “what does she have to cry about, you do everything for her”😳 he forgets she’s a baby at times and natural to cry (trauma from his parents)

Tongue tie

My baby is 4.5 weeks today, we had his tongue tie cut yesterday and I find it so frustrating the way they do things with the nhs. I asked about aftercare and they just brushed it off and said you do nothing, and very much underplayed it. My baby has been crying on and off all night and day and is so unsettled. Thankfully I’ve found some info online but then some of that seems conflicting I.e lots of info on exercises and sweeping to stop it from reattaching. They said this is not necessary. They could at least give you a heads up they are going to be in pain with it and info on the healing process, I.e what to expect as the wound heals so you know what to look out for. I left under the impression he would be unaffected.