MIL gave my exclusively breast-fed 5 month old a bottle of water…and would do it again
Hi fam, need insight on exactly how bad this is and see if I am overreacting.
MIL baby sat my LO who is 5 months old for 8 hours, for the first time. MIL has a history of wanting to do things her way so I knew she was going to approach this like that, but she raised 5 kids herself. So, I thought she would keep it safe.
I set up everything for her—clean onesie, bottles ready to go, breast milk ready. I showed her how we put baby to sleep, how we warm up breast milk, and told her to call or text for any questions.
She FaceTimes me once and I see my LO dressed in a different onesie with different sleep wear that we have never used. Not a big deal but it was no wonder baby wasn’t sleeping. I come home and MIL only has good things to say about the day. However, the bottles were changed, the clothes were changed, the play area was changed, everything.
I also notice a big coffee stain on a white dining chair (I know we’re asking for it with white) that wasn’t there before I left. I bring it up and smell it to see what fluid spilled. It’s clear from her 4 to-go cups of coffee who made the stain. But she plays it off and doesn’t admit to it (important for later).
Then, my partner says “she gave her water.” I’m surprised, because I left an abundance of breast milk out. At first I’m like “how much water?” And she jumps quickly to say “oh, not that much. She just seemed thirsty.”
I stare and see a full 5 oz + bottle of water ready to be fed to my baby along with a breast milk packet next to it, thawing. I’m confused…why give water when there is breast milk?
My partner, who is an RN, explains why water is dangerous to a baby under 1 year old. She explains that she gave water to all of her 5 kids and mutters a half-hearted apology.
She leaves and we finish the night since we are tired but the questions start to haunt me. What was the logic to giving my baby water when there was milk? And if she lied about a silly coffee stain, would she potentially lie about something that actually matters? Was this lady safe to leave my baby with in the future?
The questions haunt me for two days and I talk it over with my partner, and we just can’t understand the logic. So, we realize we just need to ask.
Upon gentle and genuinely curious questioning, my MIL jumps to immediately being on the defensive and tries to play the part of the victim. She tells my partner / her son “well, if I’m so horrible, why don’t you never let me babysit her again.”
There is no genuine remorse or reflection on her part. And to explain why she gave my baby water, she says “everyone does things differently. This is how I do it.”
Like…does this woman not care that she could’ve hurt a defenseless baby, much less her own grandchild?
Please give me your insight. For right now, we have blocked her on everything as we process what happened.
I don’t plan on ever letting her babysit again, obviously. But tell me what you would do…
Hair help lol
My daughter is 6 and 1/2 months right now and every since I gave birth to her she’s had super super crazy hair that stands straight up, it started off as a little triangle and turned into a full blown palm tree. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, I think it makes her so beautiful and unique, but sometimes I have a very hard time styling it! We’re a busy family on both sides and we have lots of events and sometimes I wanna give her a cute little style but I cannot manage it with anything. Her grandma on her dad’s side suggests I use olive oil, my mom is suggesting coconut oil, and most people tell me to use water and the thing is most oils greases her up way too much and water makes her fluff so much worse! Does anyone have any baby safe suggestions I can attempt to use? Or perhaps a bath time and brush routine to try and settle her hair a bit.
