AITA? Giiirrrlls buckle yourselves in for this one.

I'm a single mum with an almost 6 month old, left my baby's "dad" when I was 10wks pregnant after a short 4 month relationship because he was severely controlling. April last year he got drunk and as i was asleep he went through my phone and found pics/videos on my Google photos of me and my first ever boyfriend FROM WHEN I WAS 19 (I'm 27 now) which I didn't even know were there, I've then woken up and realised what he was doing and took my phone off him. I had only been asleep for 45 minutes and in that time he had drank 2 bottles of wine. I delete the rest of the photos infront of him and go upstairs to bed in his house.. told him I'm tired and he can join me if he wants to.

About 15 minutes later he came upstairs and had no coordination whatsoever, stumbling around the room and laughing. I told him it wasn't funny, got up and put my fleece on to go and get some air and then he pushes me back onto the bed with force. I got up quickly and pushed him too, said what are you doing, then he pushes me again into the clothes rack but I found my footing at the last second so I didn't end up on the floor. I screamed at him "why are you trying to hurt me, look at yourself!!" & he sat on the end of his bed and looked like he was ashamed of himself. I was in the doorway and said to him, what if I was pregnant, what if I was at the top of the stairs would you have still pushed me? (Little did I know, I was pregnant) I then went downstairs and into the garden, locked the patio doors behind me because I didn't feel safe. He then follows me 5 minutes later but because I've got the key he goes out the front door and tries to get to me by going through his next door neighbour's garden. I locked myself back inside and rang my mum to come and get me cause I really didn't know what he wanted to do to me.
He ended up falling asleep when he went back into the living room and before I left I told him that I hope when he wakes up he remembers why I've left. He just told me to fuck off.
April 5th '25 - In the morning I'm hounded with messages and voice notes saying he had a blackout and doesn't remember anything, where am I etc etc.
I told him what happened and said its rather convenient he doesn't remember.
I don't speak to him for a few days and then its my 26th birthday and I stupidly went back with him.. we then find out I'm pregnant and he initially told me that if I'm serious about him he thinks we should 'let this one go' & try again when we're both ready.
I said I'll be having the baby with or without him, I don't need him etc.
I go for a scan the following week and I'm 6 weeks gone... the controlling gets worse week by week, at this point he doesn't even want me to be spending time with my friends without him even when he's at work for 14hrs. then I broke things off for good 3rd June '25 via phone call. Collected my things from his house a few days later but took 3 people with me incase he tried anything.

I told him I wouldn't use my baby as a weapon and he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby unless we were living under the same roof (like are you actually okay?) I said thats obviously not going to be happening and not to worry because I won't ask for a single penny from him, no nappies, nothing.

Now he's started to send message requests and friend requests to my friends for information on me and my son, yet he knows where my grandma and my mum live so if he really wanted to see him then surely he would have tried that route, no? He doesn't know where I live as I recently moved out of my mums place late last year before I had my boy.

What would you do in this situation?
AITA for not letting him try? I just don't think I'd feel okay leaving my son with him alone, and my ex is also from India and I have the fear in me that he could take him away from me and never come back - you hear the stories all the time and I'd never forgive myself.
I just think that he already gave up on my son once when he was still growing inside me, so what's to say he wouldn't do it again.

Honest opinions please ❤️

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Okay honestly, if you have any description of safeguarding concern (like you do) then no contact is fine. Not a problem or an issue at all. Now, I am begging you, one don’t go back, two I wouldn’t do any contact and three, do not get him on the birth certificate! I’d really suggest going to Citizens Advicr and working out what you need to do if he ever asks to go on the BC or takes you to court. Not saying he will but best to be prepared l. I kicked my BD/Ex out 10 days PP and now I limit contact due to safeguarding issues. All you are doing is protecting and doing what is in the best interest of your baby! That is your main concern. If you are debating, always ask yourself is it in baby’s best interest x

Thank you lovely xx

My ex was the same, also has a bad background but I've only just found everything out so if I stayed with him me and my daughter wouldn't be here today.
If he's not on the birth certificate, he's got no parental rights so he can't do anything unless he takes you to court. I'm not in that situation for my child's father to have any access because he's simply not aloud, but if he wants that I would do it where you both are not alone in a public place if you are worried about anything x

In all honesty I think you are 100% doing the right thing for you and your son and definitely making the right call. He is abusive and you deserve better. You did the right thing by leaving and creating a better life for you and your child. Please do not ever consider giving him another chance as he has shown signs of violence in the past he will 100% do it again no matter what false promises he makes. wishing you the best of luck.

These stories make me so upset. Why are people such assholes. I'm sorry you have experienced this and are in the situation you currently are in. I think you did the best thing for you and your child. You're relationship was new, and he was just starting to get comfortable enough to show you who he is. When he learned he was going to be a father he had absolutely no interest in the child unless he could use it to control you (saying you had to live with him). He has no interest in being a father, let alone a good one. You are a mother now, and your child comes first. Even if he never physically harmed the kid, or took him out of country he is a manipulative, controlling, toxic individual. He is meant to be the example of what a man is to your son. I recommend going no contact, tell your friends and family to block him. Consult the appropriate organizations for this. @Grace is right if you are ever debating, the first and most important question to ask "is this in my baby's best interest?"

in our community

Would you be mad 🤬

My boy is 1 next week and I was wanting to take him for his first hair cut this weekend with his dad.
Mil looked after him yesterday while we were at work and she has cut his hair herself!!!
I was not asked if this would be ok, nor was I told it had been done afterwards.
I think she thought I wouldn’t notice.
There are a lot of trust issues with her not telling me what he eats / drinks while he’s in her care and it just feels like she’s constantly trying to spite me!

I think his mum and dad should have been there for his first ever hair cut and she has taken that from us.

Anyone else experienced this?

Me and my partner got together when my son was 4 and he’s now 9, my son in my eyes is a typical average boy, won’t speak to us when he’s tired, coming across moody and is always slightly off when he comes back from his dad. But he’s like it with both me and my partner, however my partner gets shitty over it but with me, like today my son came back from his dad before school and wasn’t very talkative or said bye when my partner went to work and when he walked out the door he scarcely said “bye, have a good day” and said he doesn’t know why he wastes his breath.
I’m close to breaking point, either to cry or scream. I don’t take offence to how my son is, he’s always been off coming back from his dad and he’s been going over every Tuesday since 9 month old so I guess I’m use to it, I just don’t know what to do

My mannnn

I’m sorry yall but I just love my man so much. I feel like no one ever posts about how good their man is. Obviously I’m very fortunate to have a great guy in my life as that isn’t the case for everyone but,, I know not everyone’s man is all bad. I just think he is so perfect. I have a daughter of my own and I’m due with our son in 4 weeks and I’m just so excited for him. He’s so amazing with his baby cousins and he is just looking forward to being a boy dad. He’s already an amazing father. He’s always going out of his way to take care of me whether it’s helping me out the bath, shaving my legs for me since it is a lot to bend down, cooking when he can tell I’m not feeling the best, running to the gas station even at 2-3am when we don’t have something I’m craving, etc. I just feel so fortunate and I wish more moms would post positive appreciation for their man. I mean he’s a hard worker and yet he is insisting on doing nights when the baby is here so that I can get my sleep. I don’t think we ever fight about anything and if we do “fight” it just becomes a joke cause we realize we have nothing to ever disagree over. Ugh he’s just so cute and loving and amazing and I can’t say enough about him. That’s all. I just wanted to talk about him cause he is sleeping like a lil baby next to me wanting his bag rubbed with my nails and I can’t aggressively squeeze his cheeks (any of them). I got most of it now 🥰❤️

Day out in the heatwave

Today’s my mums birthday we kinda said it would be nice to go to one of the national trust properties near our home. It’s got a play area and loads places to sit with a picnic blanket. But it’s still very very hot. Do you think it’s silly to take my almost two year old out for the day??? Obviously we’d have lots of sun screen, water pack up lunch and the pram for naps. But I’m still wondering if I’m bonkers to do it.

Nurseries closing (UK based) but still having to pay!

Would love to know some thoughts because I’m torn on it. Don’t want my little one put at risk in an unsafe environment but also why aren’t we better equipped within the nursery settings? We’ve had enough heatwaves in the UK now to know. Thoughts?

Why?

Am I the only one who gets frustrated when relatives (male) are dismissive of postpartum struggles or try to act like they have the same struggles as women. I'm not saying they don't have any, sleep deprivation all of a sudden, emotional impact from bonding or struggling to bond with child, financial load etc. I'm not ignoring those. But when talking in messages with my dad (had 4 kids). He moaned about waking at 2am and up at 6am in this heat...I wrote back how my LO was up at 9pm/12am/3am/630, 3 of those for feeds (BF). His response "yes, it's hard work, i was one of those soldiers". Errr, tell me sir when you started breastfeeding. Maybe you were up helping with changes etc (sure my mum would say different, not an amicable separation). But you are not physically feeding multiple times in the night and day. My hubby is great he'll get up and grab baby so I can wap me tit out and dream feed without stirring him. But once his head hits that pillow he's out for the count. Where it takes me time to turn my brain off if I wake to much in-between feeds. I just can help be irked that my dad's trying to be all relatable, when I don't think my parents had healthy communication as is. He also worked 12hr shifts so how much was he there in the early days? I obviously don't know. But the pressure on mums day in day out shouldn't be popped in the same boat i don't think. Any ways😂..Just a rant!