Give attention

How much attention should I give my toddler for her to be content. I read and been told 15-20 minutes a day should be enough and I can then just do my own thing. I do the 15-20min attention and my toddler will still want me. Ill let her am going to clean and she will start saying no clean, sit. If i try to cook the same time. If i try to do some reading the same thing. She keeps demanding i do what she wants and it is frustrating me. I love my girl,but am hitting a point where i just want to hide in the bathroom,but if i do I start to stress out. Have get chores done have get dinner ready. If i don't give her attention am a bad mom. I feel like a bad mom already. Feels like everything is demanding a lot of me.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I don’t know what you mean but how much attention you should give your toddler I never seen anything about a time limit. But if she really wants your attention try having her get involved in helping with chores and cooking. It’s takes more patience but toddler love that. I had my son help me load the dryer and her just keep saying thank you every time I handed him some clothes. I once gave him dry pasta to transfer from one pan into another while I cook. He was content and I was able to cook in peace.

We use to do that together,but now she wants us to just do what she wants to. Which I do,but then I have other things to do

The hack is honestly getting them to help. If you’re putting clothes in the machine ask for help she can put clothes in there with you. If you’re wiping something over give them a cloth, cooking dinner get them to mix and help them choose what you have for dinner. Sure it makes the jobs a bit slower but you’re killing two birds with one stone

I think if you are continually responsive to your child they will grow the confidence to independently play and not feel like they have to nag and whine for your attention. My daughter would sit and listen to books for hours if i kept reading. But she’ll happily come along in the kitchen to “help” me cook or clean if i say reading time is over. Do you use a visual timer to help her understand time? I would offer her a chunk of time for you two to do something together that she picks, and then let her know what you’re doing when the timer goes off - like cooking dinner, and invite her to help. Most of the time my daughter (3.5) starts out very interested in helping me cook then goes back into the living room to play. She knows i will be attentive and include her if she comes back and is also content knowing she can choose to play by herself

in our community

How would you approach this?

In the park with my 6 year old and the sprinklers are on. She's playing in them and there's a bucket (like a sand bucket) on the ground, so she picks it up and starts filling it with water.
When we were about to leave the park, my daughter says "that lady over there was so rude to me. She told me if I want to play with the buckets that I should save my money and order it or buy it because it's not that expensive" . If you know anything about me, you'd have to assume I would say something because are you fucking joking lmao.

So I approach her and ask "did you tell my daughter that she should save her money and buy her own bucket?" And she kind of laughs like that was ridiculous and then says I told her these buckets belong to these kids and that it isn't hers and they're not very expensive on Amazon if she wants to get one.
I replied "she's a child."
Then she says "well I told her no and she kept stealing them and filling them up"
So I replied "stealing?" to which she said "well not stealing, but she played with it after I told her no"
I said "it's a bucket" and she continues defending her stance and I just okayed her like 3 times and left her talking. The words I wanted to use just weren't worth it. And it was so hot and we were already leaving the park. But oooooh I wish I witnessed the exchange because wtf? And my daughter is super sweet and friendly, so if she was a little jerk I'd understand more.
And what kind of parent says you can't play with my kid's things? A water bucket? In the park? Really? Like it's your right, but grow up?

Found out my husband (sorta) cheated

My husbands phone broke last week and he finally took it to Apple yesterday and they were able to fix/recover everything. We’ve never had secrets or hidden things and I have always had access to his phone so last night after he went to bed I went into his hidden photos to make sure my sexy photos I’ve sent were still on his phone or if I needed to send him new ones.

And boy was I SHOCKED. He had THOUSANDS of AI pictures of naked women just all over it from like 2024-mid2025. And if that isn’t bad enough, he had *recent* screenshots of pictures and videos of naked women off Snapchat stories. Starting sometime at the end of summer last year all the way through my pregnancy early this year and during my miscarriage. Even specific ones on the day of our anniversary and 2 days after we lost our baby.

I have felt completely gutted ever since I found them (on accident I was not snooping). My entire body has felt heavy and sick and shaky. I feel so disgusted that these skinny women with huge boobs and butts are all over his phone when I am the biggest I’ve ever been after losing our second child. The worst part is these women look nothing like me. I confronted him and he deleted everything but he didn’t see it as cheating even though I’ve specifically said it before that I’m not okay with it and that if he wants time to himself (which I support) he should only look at pictures of me. I feel like our whole relationship and marriage is just a huge joke. And now I am questioning everything.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you but am I valid for feeling this way? I know I should be but this just took me for complete surprise and I just feel broken.

For the record I don’t want to end our marriage but I also don’t know how to get past this (yet) and I told him if he ever does this again then I’m done.

Hot weather plans

What's everyone been up to today/have planned for tomorrow?

I need ideas as I'm going stir crazy at home with our nearly 2 year old!!

We have a small.paved courtyard but no proper garden, so it makes things like paddling pools really tricky!

Throw out your ideas! Thank you

Roommates or lovers

Is anyone feeling like even though you and your husband do stuff and all of that, that you still feel like roommates sometimes? Like, you aren’t as connected and feel like you need more time together? I’m still healing postpartum so we don’t really do stuff plus having a newborn, it’s tough to find time. I just feel like I’m missing him constantly even when he’s next to me and that we are starting to grow apart. I know he loves me and I love him, I just want more time with him. It’s hard with 2 kids and constantly needing to do things, plus being exhausted from a new baby…idk. Anyone else having these issues/do you know how to fix it?

Rusks

I’m seeing a lot of posts about weaning early and the types of foods being given.
If you are going to start giving food early against NHS advice, please at least research the ingredients.

Rusks main ingredients are flour, sugar, and palm oil. You are replacing nutrients for absolute rubbish at such an early age. Same with baby porridge, full of oil and nasties. Please do your research on what you are feeding your babies, there are so many better alternatives if you feel you must give food before 6 months

Baby weaning

Hi, just wondering if anyone has started introducing solids to their babies yet? Is 4 months too early for purées?