Opposite shifts

Hey everyone!

My husband and I are planning to work opposite shifts in order to avoid putting my three month old in child care. My schedule would be 4 days 10 hours at night and my husband works in the morning. Does anyone else have a similar set up? If so any tips or advice that would make this easier on us?

in our community

What do you all make of this?

My husband made a really hurtful comment.

We argued this morning but more like he shouted at me because there was a stain on the sofa he thinks I spilled coffee I told him it’s not coffee.
We have 3 small children and I know it’s not great but mess and spillage will happen. He didn’t even ask me or have a conversation just kicked off like he always does without letting me get a word in. Basically talked at me not to me.

He said all I do is open my legs. Possibly referring to the sex we had last night.
He’s not spoken to me at all since this morning since he said that. I feel like that’s such a hurtful and nasty thing to say.

Not sure what to do I need advice

House hygiene, helppp!!!!

Hi guys, maybe abit of a shameful thing to post, hence the incognito, but I’d love some advise please.
Growing up both my parents worked 24/7 to be able to provide for us, meaning house work always fell by the way side, it’s not until I’m now a parent, and have limited time, that I realise I don’t think I’m keeping my house as clean as possible; and I really put it down to living in a pretty grubby house growing up, and never really being taught how to clean? It was fine pre baby as I had all the time in the world and was out the house 99% of the time so it was barely lived in.

We can’t afford a cleaner, but I always feel like my house could be cleaner, but I don’t really know where I’m going wrong…

Can people please drop their cleaning routines, advice, recommendations etc.

Thank you, a sincerely overwhelmed and slightly depressed first time mum xx

I’m confused, need advice

I was told yesterday that after living in the same house for 3yrs with someone this is not my house. I help pay some bills, I cook, I clean, I have two jobs, i have a 10yr old son, I help decorate the house because he lets me.. I bought him two tvs and it’s still not my house because I only helped pay rent twice..?
so far this whole year I have been needing my money for family law cases and he’s don’t understand how I can’t even do things I want with the money that was owed them. meanwhile I’m needing up to $700 to travel by myself for this and we won’t come with me because he has work, even when I give him a 2 weeks notice. if he would help 400 of my dollars could go to rent along with anything else I make. I’m just not really feeling comfortable anymore because there’s lack of value and respect, I’m tired of hearing “I’m trying to love you” you either love me or you don’t. been thinking about moving out and forgetting this whole relationship. we met in 2017 and been really good friends and wanted to be more and I believe everything he told me was a lie.
he also vented to a girl about our problems, has a nickname for her in his phone while my contact is saved under my full name. he doesn’t respect my feeling or boundaries, never apologized for anythinggg, and when he talks about his I have to care, he always makes me apologize for being upset with what he did. he never believes anything is his fault.

Neighbour

My neighbour came over and said my door was dirty and asked me to clean it, so I told him it’s just from the kids but no worries, I’ll get it done. He then said I’m responsible for keeping it clean, so I just replied “no worries” and turned to shut the door, but he carried on saying it doesn’t look good when people come around. That’s when I said, “I don’t need to be told, but thanks for the advice,” and closed the door. The second I pushed back, his face went completely confused and he just froze for a moment, like he never expected me to answer him that way.

Was how I reacted reasonable ?

Visiting

Does anyone else struggle with family never wanting to visit? I thought my partners family would be more involved but he keeps saying we have to go to them. They live over an hour away and my baby doesn’t do the best in car rides. I don’t understand why I need to pack a million things and drive over an hour both ways for them to see her. We have a house and everyone has been to our house / the area before we had her.

The only thing I can think of is they are choosing sides. His mother cannot stand me because I didn’t allow hospital visitors but my own mother was there because she was my support person. I had her stay with me in the hospital, she taught me to breastfeed, helped me shower. She’s an absolute angel and I feel like I’m being punished for wanting my mom with me. Our baby is almost 8 months and my future MIL has met her once. When she came over she ignored me the entire time and said some really rude things. I’m so exhausted from this situation.

A rant

I recently spent some time reorganizing all the closest upstairs (5) and making sure the locks on them weren't broken so the kids couldn't get in them and undo my work. My husband did the ooo and ahh over the freshly organized and clean closets just to leave one unlocked and now it's completely destroyed with everything unorganized laying at the bottom of the closet and spread throughout the room. Of course he let that happen on a day I will have visitors over and I can't clean it up because the baby wants me to wear her. I love when I waste my fucking time.