Am I being selfish?
I could really use some outside opinions because I’m feeling so torn.
My grandma’s funeral is on Friday, and it’s a 3½-hour journey each way. I have an 8-month-old baby, and my ex-partner (who I still live with) has offered to stay home and look after her.
I really wanted to go to the funeral on my own so I could just be a granddaughter for the day and grieve properly. I love my daughter more than anything, but I know I’d spend the whole day worrying about bottles, three meals, naps, packing everything, and keeping her settled after a 7 hour round trip on public transport.
My mum wants me to bring my baby (and my ex) because not much of our immediate family will be there, and she wants my Grandma to have as much family present as possible. She feels really strongly about it, and thinks I’m being lazy and selfish and now I feel incredibly guilty.
Am I being selfish for wanting to leave my baby with her dad for the day so I can say goodbye to my grandma properly? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m feeling so overwhelmed.
Parenting differences
My son has a receding hairline. In the two corners, it’s already kind of bald. He’s 8 by the way. His trajectory leads him to likely go bald early, due to his dad, grandpa, and so on being bald. He complained about it one day and I told him it’s ok, gave him encouragement, and showed him what to do to cover it. He has a tiny fro. Additionally, I have one small bald spot near my hairline as well. I said something along the lines of, I have a spot too and I’ve never had hair right there and how it’s perfectly ok.
For whatever reason, the conversation just came up about it, and my fiance said that I’m wrong for telling him about my spot too because I’m essentially saying, “your hair is f****d up and mine is too”. Instead, he said I should have only tried to build his confidence, which I did do, but I also did not want him to feel alone. Do you all think there was something wrong with what I did/said to my son?
What does your nursery offer for outdoor play and do you feel it's safe enough? (UK based but happy to hear from everyone!)
My son (3) is starting nursery soon and we've had a tour and he's also had a few visiting session where we stayed and just hovered in the background.
The nursery is great, modern and it's attached to the primary school he will go to which is a bonus.
However it's very busy! There is 40+ kids in the nursery and it was very overwhelming. I wondered how the teachers could possibly keep eyes on everyone at once. They said each key worker has up to 8 kids. I met my sons key worker and she was a lovely older lady but I just wondered how on Earth is she (and the others!) keeping tabs on all these kids running riot?
The nursery is very outdoor play focused and the garden and playground are always open year-round, even in rain and snow, from open til close (unless the weather is dangerous of course)
Because of this there is a lot of variety in the outdoor spaces, there's a massive area for building and they have cut up bits of wood, tree logs etc and when we were visiting I was watching little boys HURL these logs around and nobody intervened. There's also a fire pit which is obviously only in use with a teacher present but it still worries me that the teacher has to keep eyes on 8 kids around this fire pit and what if she can't react quickly enough? I know I'm probably overthinking and being silly but it's worrying me.
They also have massive wooden play structures for climbing on and hiding in, it makes me worry that he would fall off because the drop is like 5ft and he's not very agile 🥲 idk, maybe this is all normal and I'm just worried because we've never experienced nursery before but please comment if you have advice or tell me about your nursery settings!
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