Friends leaving after having baby/rant
I’m 21 and had my first baby in August, initially all my friends were supportive, but after maybe 2 months possibly less they started becoming distant, the one that hurts the most is my best friend of 10 years, we used to do something at least once a week, after I had my baby nearly 11 months ago I have seen her 3 times, once when baby was 2 weeks old and twice about 3 months ago, another friend who’s been one of my closest friends for 6 years I’ve only seen twice since I had my baby, they have both now started booking trips/concerts in different countries which we never used to do and when I mentioned it to them and very nicely asked if they could still at least ask me if I wanted to do things with them because I’m still the same person I was before they fought back turning it round to me not asking to be invited?! They also never once after I had my baby asked how I was dealing with it or how she was. I realise we’re in different points of life now however it hurts that the 2 people I considered my best friends and who would stick with me through anything has now stopped talking to me just because I have a baby, does anyone else have similar experiences with friends kinda ditching them after they had their baby because I am really struggling with this
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I am also dealing with the same issue. It like everyone you were close with just forget about you. Or feel like u can’t do anything anymore. It’s super hurtful n it makes me feel alone so I can imagine how you feel as well. If u ever need a friend or someone to talk to im here im 21 as well and my baby was born last August as well.
Hey, i get you. I am a lot older than you, im 36. I had my first baby just before i turned 35. I had lots of people supporting me in my pregnancy but as soon as my son was a few weeks olds my friends fizzled out. It’s tough. My friends all have older kids, some in their teens so I get why they maybe wouldn’t want to be around babies all of the time.
Have you made any mum friends?
I have a lovely circle of friends with kids a similar age to my son and they are my closest friends. We chat about our kids development etc and can moan about how hard this motherhood journey really is! They are the girls that get me through. Those are the girls I can pick up the phone to for advice about anything baby related or to have a moan! These are the girls who love my son just as much as I love their babies.
It hard missing out on your ‘old’ life. You are still you but an even better version now. If you’re freinds don’t want to be around your child, it’s their loss xx
I’m sorry you are going through this. I have gone through something similar. When I had my baby my relationships changed with friends that I had for years and thought would be there for me postpartum. Unfortunately some people assume that once you have a baby that you’re no longer available or don’t want to hang out. It’s messed up tbh. It’s also messed up how your friends stated that you didn’t “ask to be invited”. That was really backhanded. I found peace in leaving friends where they are at. Maybe you should stop reaching out and mute their stories/ messages. I stopped caring and counting on how many times people showed up or seen baby because tbh those who really want to be there will make the effort with no excuses.
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