SHOULD you help pay the mortgage?

POV: you meet a man who owns a home, you and your child move in with him after some time, he does not want you to pay the mortgage or bills despite offering to do so. He would be paying the mortgage whether you lived there or not. Eventually it’s agreed upon that you pay for the groceries (you insisted on some kind of contribution).

Years later, you pay for groceries, internet, Netflix, phone bills, everything for the kids, playgroups, school stuff, clothing etc. alongside your own personal car payments (loan, fuel, registration etc). You help to pay for some of the bills where possible.

You also become a SAHM to a new baby and lose your work hours because of it but you continue paying for everything you were paying for despite the price of everything going up while your pay has gone down so essentially ALL of your money goes on these things. He works full-time. He also splurged on a car loan a little while ago (we already have 2 cars) so he pays $600 a FORTNIGHT for his recent one, so we have 3 cars.

The man eventually starts saying you don’t contribute and that he has to pay the bills and mortgage on his own. Saying you never have any money but when you explain WHY you don’t, he doesn’t get it.

Your full time job consists of unpaid cleaning, cooking, baby sitting, making lunches, doing school runs & playgroups.

Should you also start paying the mortgage?

If you do start paying the mortgage, should he then go you halves in groceries, internet, Netflix, everything to do with the kids?

Give me your thoughts and opinions.

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You also want to put your youngest child into nursery so you can get in some work hours (WFH) but the man only wants him in there for a few hours a week.

So you’re being told you’re not contributing but you also have no time to get work done.

He sounds incredibly demanding and controlling suddenly. Like what? What changed sir?
Years later are we not suppose to be a team? Why is everything tit for tat and not who ever can do what? 🤔

Could you add whooping some sense and consideration into the man as an option please.

Sounds like youre breaking your back for the family and hes actually more of a baby than the newborn

no and if he does want you to work to help then everything should be halved

He sounds like such a titty baby

Do you have any rights to the house or have you been supporting him to pay his mortgage for years 😭 honestly it sounds like he was being sly not letting you pay into the mortgage in the first place because now you've got no right to that house if you break up?!

That's good to hear! Tell him to get in the sea lol

Well hes definitely still the bigger baby, could you actually just layout all the bill to him and show youre doing more than half?

He says these types of things when he’s stressed or pissed off. He admitted it. So I’m doing my best to ignore it and carry on as I am. Yes, he can be very petty. I think most men are rediculous to be honest lol.

I struggle to pay for the things I pay for as it is. I never ever ask him for help with the kids (1 is mine and the 2nd is ours). Because I know the stress of him paying for bills and mortgage. The car loan pisses me off but that’s his problem. But to then tell me I don’t contribute was a real kick because like.. who’s caring for your child every day? Cooking daily? Cleaning daily? Teaching daily? 🤡

I’m about to buy myself a uniform to wear at home. Write down what my “work” is and once my uniform is off I’m not doing anything on that list. Not lyin.

Our finances are seperate. I personally prefer it this way.

Thanks for the validation ladies, I’ll carry on reminding myself I’m doing MORE than enough and his pathetic outbursts are his own problem. 🫶🏽🙏🏽🩷

In a similar situation but I still work. My pay is almost 1/2 of what I made when we met and yet I am still paying all the same bills…🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh yeh we buy our own hygiene products. That’s a little nuts he would ask you to buy his stuff knowing you don’t have money

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