Gonna lose my shit

LONG POST
For starter these were also me
I’m legit at my point, literally sick of my husband. I’m stuck paying EVERY bill, last month I had to get the one car serviced & I put it on my AR (comes out of each pay), I had to ask the owners for a pay advance (comes out of each pay). I’m literally stuck paying it all, I get paid this Friday & it’s already gonna be $694.93 (electric, gas, garbage, water, twice for daycare) then in the middle of it there’s a $406.84 car payment. I’m literally over it. I should not work full time (8am-5pm) m-f while he’s home everyday (he only went to work 2 times this month) not cleaning, not doing anything besides just drinking. I literally get off work, get the kids, come home, make dinner, all while the kids always need me, they’re Velcro, clean, get accused of fucking/wanting my coworkers. Earlier today after I got home he said he’ll sue me & whoever I leave him for. Do everything, then he wonders why I hate him or won’t have sex with him. I’m legit at that point where I just say shit I don’t mean (ex: this is why moms off themselves, or I hate my life) anything like that. Then when we fight he says he’s just gonna 302 me, he’ll take the kids, take the house we just got ($1344.77 mortgage), take everything. Yet he DONT work.

in our community

Preparing to leave

Hey I’ve just joined this group for a little bit of advice and chat if anyone has been in the same position.

I’m preparing to leave my marriage I have a nearly 2 year old and four month old we recently split but came back together but I’m still met with rudeness, energy is flat and just unhappy I know I went back for help with my kids.

When I say planning to leave I plan to leave when my daughter is two I know this is two years away but has anyone else been in this situation where you’ve stayed to have help with the kids? When does it get easier. Do I leave sooner?

I’m not financially linked to him I have my own money, tenancy is in my own only so I’m quite stable it’s just help with kids.

Any advice appreciated thanks. X x

WFH Balance?

Bear with me here, I'm kinda just getting my thoughts out and hoping some of you have advice or encouragement if you've been in a similar situation ❤️

I've been a sahm for a little over a year, largely because we just couldn't afford daycare with what I was making.
My husband is a self-employed contractor, focusing on tile installation. Recently, his business has grown enough that he's having a hard time managing it, so he's asked me to step in and help. I'll be learning and taking over his books, and most of the back-end office work.
It'll be a pretty steep learning curve, with a bit of a mess to clean up, but I'm fairly confident that I can manage it much better than he has once I get going lol, I'm generally better with numbers and organization.

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to fit it into my schedule, though. I have a 7yo and a 2yo and they are... wild. Up to now, I've had us spending as much of our day outside as possible, and I've been looking for ways to get us out of the house more while still getting my housework done. I'm not entirely sure how to juggle that with making sure I have time to get my work done too, especially if he also wants me to take over some of the customer-contact like setting appointments.

I'm also not sure where to set up a work station. Hubby has a spot at the kitchen table where he tries to do this work. If I worked there, I could keep an eye on the kids, but I'd be interrupted constantly. If I set up at the desk upstairs, I'd be able to actually focus, but I wouldn't be able to watch the kids. My oldest is home from school for the summer and just barely responsible enough that I can leave them semi-unattended together for short bursts as long as I'm available if they need me, but not for long periods. They're obsessed with each other, but they wind each other up like crazy, and if they get too wild someone inevitably winds up getting hurt. The eldest also knows how to operate the TV, and I don't want them to have too much screen time. They are not able to go outside unsupervised at all. We have some small wyze cameras that we've used before when my eldest was *not* as responsible, but we don't currently have enough outlets available.
My youngest is hit-or-miss with naps lately, but she's usually happy to take some "quiet" time in her crib on days she decides not to nap; she just sings gibberish, plays with her plushies, and looks out the window until she'd usually wake up. I'm hoping that by the time she drops the nap entirely, we'll be able to afford part-time daycare/preschool again.

I think my best case scenario is being able to do most of my work during nap time and getting better at doing my housework throughout the day? That will depend on how much work ends up on my plate, though. Most likely, I'll have to figure out how to juggle work and kids.

This was longer than I planned, but I wanted to be thorough.
Any tips and advice are very welcome!
Emotional support and validation are also welcome lol. I'm sure I'll find a way to muddle through, I'm just trying to sort out how to balance things ❤️

AIBU

Am I being unreasonable. My partner works full time and I’m on maternity leave. My partner goes away weekends on golf tournaments, gets out for his runs and has his recreational time without question. I obviously don’t have that luxury, I literally do everything (cooking, cleaning, childcare) from dawn till dusk. My partners way of looking after the baby is sticking him in the bouncer in front of the tv which I hate. Recently he’s started developing an app and wants to put all hours into it which I get but I simply asked for an hour when he gets home before we put baby to sleep so that we can eat together, he can spend time with baby and I can just have time to shower and decompress. Once baby’s asleep I’m then cleaning and doing everything in readiness for the next day. I’ve now been told I’m not a supportive partner and as “supportive as a blade”. (Yeah I’m unsure of the analogy to but whatever haha) Really just don’t know how to feel and feel as though I’m looked upon as staff in our house at the moment.

Should I have a 3rd?…

Feeling mentally exhausted and I already get overwhelmed at home with my 2 boys.. husband really wants a 3rd but I’m just not sure and really struggling as a parent. We’re also getting couples counselling at the moment too as things have been rocky since having the conversation about a 3rd child. I’m thinking about it every day. Whether I should or not and it’s affecting my mental health. Any advice welcome x

Would you be upset? And would you say something?

My boyfriend and I clean together for a company he got me into. He recently lost a friend and there was a memorial for it that he wanted to go to but he has an apartment to clean. He calls me at 2pm and I'm just heading home, telling him I need to eat and don't feel well. He immediately says 'can I send you on a mission?' And I knew whatever it was it was gonna serve him and had nothing to do with how I felt. And maybe I was emotionally tired too before he called but that's not something he'll understand.
So first he says can I go to the apartment and organize the cleaning bag. And then he says if you want to clean it too you can.
It's 2pm and I have 3 hours before I have to get my daughter from camp and I didn't even eat anything for the day.
Fast forward. I start cleaning and then I have to leave to pick her up, feed her, and then bring her back while she sits in a corner while I finish my job.
He calls me when I'm almost done and says he just woke up. First thing that pissed me off. I'm like ok it's 9pm so maybe he took a nap after the memorial or something. I call him when I heading home at 11 and he's in the bed still!!! So what the actual F did you even do?! I didn't even ask if he went or what and I haven't even spoken to him today.
I had to carry my daughter to work a job he was supposed to and chose not to do and then didn't even want to be direct and ask me. I am so over being with him because he just takes advantage of me wanting to help or be accommodating and I need him to accommodate me!! If you knew you weren't going out, why not watch her? I'd feel better about doing it then but no you wanted to have the bed to yourself or something. I'm so upset and I know I asked for opinions but I don't see how this isn't upsetting

Bad day, tell me I’m over thinking

My son over flooded the sink and water went onto the bathroom floor, I managed to clean it up within a few but I was panicking and shouting enough that my neighbour knocked on the door to see if everything was alright. I’m now panicking that my landlord will kick me out so then I’ll be homeless so then I will lose my son and this baby. The bathroom floor was already messed up when I moved in which was reported but nothing is ever fixed and I think he will blame it on me now