Preparing to leave

Hey I’ve just joined this group for a little bit of advice and chat if anyone has been in the same position.

I’m preparing to leave my marriage I have a nearly 2 year old and four month old we recently split but came back together but I’m still met with rudeness, energy is flat and just unhappy I know I went back for help with my kids.

When I say planning to leave I plan to leave when my daughter is two I know this is two years away but has anyone else been in this situation where you’ve stayed to have help with the kids? When does it get easier. Do I leave sooner?

I’m not financially linked to him I have my own money, tenancy is in my own only so I’m quite stable it’s just help with kids.

Any advice appreciated thanks. X x

in our community

Annoying husband or ungrateful wife🤷‍♀️

For context, we decided to wait until our LO is about 2 before enrolling him in a nursery, that’ll be 2027 so I stay home with him. It’s not been easy but I think I manage fine. But somedays I’m tired and need me-time.

When my husband gets home from work, he goes out with the LO for a walk so I get to have a few minutes to get myself sorted out so I have a quick shower, eat and have a lie down. But once he’s back everything is back to mummy.
Most days I don’t mind but right now I’m on my period and I’m fatigued.

So husband needed me to help with something and I say oh can I help you now because I’m tired and want to go to bed early. He stays dragging his feet so I repeat “I’m tired, my eyes are heavy already, let’s get it done now so I can sleep” (mind you, time is about 10pm so it’s not even early) then he laughs and says “What’s making you tired? You’re home all day, I had a long day at the office, I still went on a walk with LO so you could rest so I’m the one supposed to be tired not you”. I told him off though and I do not feel bad one bit.

And this isn’t the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time he’s made statements like this and it pisses me off soo much because he can’t handle our LO home alone for 10 minutes without turning on the TV. I spend all day with him active playing, little to no screen time, he’s still nursing so boob on demand, I still have to sort laundry, make sure we have dinner all this while on my period with the worst back pain and yet I’m home all day apparently doing nothing.

He has since apologised and I apologised too for going off and I still help with what he needed help with and eventually went to bed at about 11pm.

So would you say I’m ungrateful or he’s annoying? I know my answer 😂

Potty training

Scenario. Your adult daughter lives next door and has her office setup in your living room. She’s at your house alone everyday with her baby and toddler while she works. Toddler is now partially potty trained and still has accidents. Where the office is you have area rugs, no carpet, and nice couches. Naturally you’re worried about potty accidents.
Do you
A. Ask her to look into the toddler having full time care so he can stay somewhere not in your home until potty training is all done. (Costs money)
B. Ask her to put him in pull ups at your house. (Makes potty training regress)
C. Ask her what her plan is for accidents because you don’t want any messes to get missed or furniture ruined. (Might be hard to multitask)
D. Ask if you can help rearrange furniture, surely the 1-1/2 bedroom house they rent might fit an office if things are out in storage. (Limited space)
…I am the daughter and trying gage if my parents reaction is reasonable

Advice on baby daddy?

Im 8weeks+6 and my ex (the baby's dad) is being difficult. Like he said he was coming to my booking appointment the other day but then cancelled a few hours before hand and keeps speaking to me like shit. I have my first scan next month and I dont know whether to tell him and offer for him to come along or just to get rid of him because its stressing me out. Does anyone have any advice?

Selfish “friend”

I don’t know if am being insensitive or my feelings are valid but I have a friend that I see regularly but I have noticed it only seems to be when they are wanting something? Like they’ll invite me down to their house but will say can you do this for me for example spot clean the mattress, tidy the kids bedrooms or put clothes away but they’ve got a partner at home who doesn’t work and neither do they and have a third child on the way like I just feel like they only want me for their benefit and if I let them down on the day am meant to do something they’ll make me feel guilty by saying “knew you weren’t gonna come” or if I go out with other friends they’ll constant ring or FaceTime then if I don’t answer they think am being funny it is just starting to get to me now but I can’t say how I feel otherwise it turns into argument that will last for days and they send massive essays it’s draining

Nursery Query

Hi all

My little one is 2 and turns 3 this time next year so I will be looking at putting her into Nursery.

When are they eligible?

(I am not talking about funded hours for working parents as I’m aware you’re eligible from 9 months) I mean the hours that were in place before this?

Do you still need to contribute to costs, like the funded hours?

I was looking at putting her in earlier as I work, but the extra costs I had to pay on top of the funding just wasn’t worth it for me as I couldn’t afford that much more money coming out of my account - my friend said she had her daughter in Nursery at 3 and didn’t have to pay anything (this was 3 years ago)

Not sure if anything had changed and when would I apply? It’ll be for the next year September start?

Do I still apply for free nursery hours if I’m not sure yet?

Hi mamas! I won’t be bringing my baby girl to nursery until she can speak or possibly not at all. I just wanted to ask… should I still apply for the free childcare hours, or is there no point if she won’t be attending nursery?

Also, if I can still apply now just in case I change my mind about nursery later on, when would I need to apply by? She’ll be 4 months soon xx