Marriage after kids

My husband works all the time so I always do everything for the kiddo. I’ve never had to manage a relationship and a kid before and I feel distant with my husband now like businesses partners. We don’t really have family to watch our son for a date night or anything like that and by the end of the day sometimes we’re just too tired to even stay up with each other idk what are some things you ladies do to manage or keep the relationship flowing?

in our community

Prisoner & Trapped

I’m 34 & at 39 weeks with my 2nd. My 1st pregnancy was such a breeze and my first is now 5 years of age. I was a working single Mom at the time. Now I’m pregnant with my 2nd at 34 and this pregnancy made me feel like a prisoner! I almost never left my son’s room that I slept in the entire pregnancy. I admitted to my partner I was depressed and stressed and how this pregnancy I am extremely unhappy.

I stopped working but plan on going back to work a week after I give birth to survive PPD. Partner does not know how to help and I blame and resent him for it. We don’t communicate or talk. Just living like strangers/roommates. To the point I don’t want him in the delivery room with me. He’s argued and bickered with me majority of the pregnancy. He’s not financially supportive. I just ignore him and act like I don’t hear him when he tried to make small talk. I’ve fallen severely into depression this pregnancy. I just don’t know what to do or say..

Exhausted

My child’s dad missed her birth because he was with his baby mum. I found out this when she was 3 months old. Apparently they had rekindled their relationship while I was late in my pregnancy. When I was giving birth they were in the bed together having sex.

He came to the hospital but left to do the school run for his kids in the morning. After that he came back to the hospital but left
Because he had a job to do (has his own business so hours are irregular). He said it would be a quick job but after hours I got oissed and told him not to come back. I was being induced btw. Next day I messaged him that he could come now and he never came.

He then called me the day after her birth and asked if I was still in hospital and that he wishes he could’ve been there to cut her cord when he knew where he was and why he missed the birth.

So much has happened. his business slowed down while I was pregnant and I ended up purchasing most of baby stuff. He only got her cot and bedsheets. Come to find out he had been giving his baby mum money for her business. Money that should’ve been used to purchase baby stuff.

Baby is 8 months old now and I’ve tried the coparenting thing. But I’m exhausted. It’s always arguments. He doesn’t take accountability for what he’s done and instead of him setting up a direct debit so our child is provided for he wants me to ask for every single thing.

Oh yeah he got his other kids Christmas presents but not our child. And bragged about it to his baby mum when she found out about our child after going through his phone.

Now I get triggered when he makes me wait for money for our daughter but makes sure his other kids are provided for.

He wants our kids to be one but I’m still dealing with the betrayal. And don’t feel right suppressing my feelings right now just so they can spend time together. I don’t mind in the future but right now it’s tough letting my child who’s birth he missed be around the children of the woman he was with while I was in labour. I don’t know if I’m being unfair. But I don’t think so.

I could go on and on. But I have some questions.

Is it worth blocking him? I want to block him because I get angry about everything and go off through messages. I don’t know though if there’s any point as we have a child. I’m just tired of his unreliability and whenever I think about what he did to me with my first child, I just don’t want to speak to him.

He sees our child once a week but sometimes misses the week completely. It’s not enough and I’ve been asking for more help but he blames his business. That’s another reason why I don’t want to block. He pops up whatever day he wants and I don’t want him just popping up unexpectedly so leave him unblocked so he has a way to let me know.

Should I let our child be going to his mums house? I’ve never met her. I have her number and have spoken to her once on the phone before all the drama happened with his baby mum contacting me. I’ve let our child go other once. But I don’t feel comfortable sending her off to someone I’ve never met even if it’s her grandma. The thing is I’m stilling dealing with moving past everything (healing) and don’t really want the added pressure of meeting her. I feel I should’ve met her while I was pregnant. But my child’s dad was trying to hide our daughter from his baby mum when they got back together. And didn’t tell his mum because his mum is in contact with her.

Finally how do I move in this situation. Should I just stop seeking financial support from him. I feel that’s the only reason I still deal with him. I’ve given up on trying to get him to be more consistent with our daughter.

Miss them sooooo much when they're at nursery

So when the kids are here. They drive me up the wall. Not a break in sight, the tantrum and all.

But when they are are nursery I missssss them sooo much. I'm half tempted to go and pick them up now just for cuddles.

It's weird - I love my peace and silence but at the same time I miss the chaos.

Do you feel the same?

No sex drive

Since having my daughter, our relationship has just gone. My partner has zero sex drive. We have sex maybe once a month/2 months. He doesn’t even really kiss me aside from a quick peck. I am now 39 weeks pregnant (from having sex once that month). I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t even do anything himself. We are currently on week 7 of nothing and my csection is monday, so then its another 6 weeks of nothing.

Would u move your best friend in?

We have a spare room here and her bd just broke up with her and is giving her 2 weeks to move out in the worst way possible, she gave birth 3 weeks ago!!! is not working obviously and has zero money and won’t let her have the car she’s had for 8 years because it’s in his name of course shit the house they just moved into it last month. The ex has been planning this for months knowing she will have nothing or no where to go including family. I don’t know what else to do but help fly her out here and help her get on her feet again and mentally recover from this!! What would u do? I’m also a single mom too and even my bd is sad at the way her bd did this and wants to help, it was cruel.

She wants me to move out there and it’s just not realistic my kids are in therapy 5 days a week and schools started in a few weeks and I live rent free in the family home basically so her moving here after she’s only there for him makes more sense I feel like she can actually save and plan better than us both struggling to make rent but atleast we have each other is what she’s thinking. We’ve been friends since 4yrs old

Looking for a bestie

I’m a 23 yo mom with a 4 yr old,2 year old ,18 month old and 3 month old . I’m looking for a bestie in the Chicago area that I chat with and vent to about anything that don’t judge.
Im stingy and do not like to share my bestie… I want our bond to be sisters.
I love every color in the rainbow,big horror fan fanatic, I love tv shows that I can binge watch and I’m studying to become a social worker.