I feel like a bad mum (long post sorry)

I feel like a bad mum lately

I suffer with depression and I know that its getting worse and ive got in contact with my doctors

But Im struggling everyday to want to get out of bed, keep the house tidy and cook for myself or my partner
I cook for my little girl who is 1 cause I know she needs that food

But I feel like i struggle to make a connection with her, i cant seem to play with her, she has all her toys on the floor and shes happy to play by herself and im happy to watch her and read the books she brings to me but I find myself doom scrolling all day long and I cant seem to stop myself even though i want to play with her but I cant stop going on my phone and everytime she turns to look at me im on my phone

I love my little girl and she is the reason for me to get out of bed but sometimes I wonder if im good enough for her.
I cant seem to find the motivation to do anything at all most days or somedays im trying to do everything and feel like a failure

I feel like ive become agoraphobic, I dont like leaving the house as where I live there isnt much around, I dont drive and public transport is Nonexistent, the onle time i go out is on the weelend with my partner but its not always something family fun, most of the time its to get stuff for the house as we are still renovating

Im worried im never going to get better and never going to enjoy my little girl, when she was a baby we would have lots of cuddles and she would nap on me a lot but before her birthday we had lots to do to get the house ready for her 1st birthday party that she was having naps in her cot and she hadnt had a nap on me for 2 months now

When she hurts herself and cries she doesnt come to me to get cuddles she sits and cries until I go to her to give her a cuddle

I just feel like im drowning 😢

in our community

HELP PLEASE

my mother in law has always been very obsessed with my partner I never thoght much of it untill I was pregnant with a baby boy
she would always say things like you will never love your daughter as much as your son she has always baby him witch caused him a lot of mental problems

My mother in law has continuely called my partner sexy she has also told me she had to stop herself for staring at him with his shirt off, she once asked if he was soft while looking at his sweatpants and said wow you got that from my side of the family, she has gone in his room after he saod he was geting dressed and started him and said she didnt mean to or didn't hear him, she always comes in when hes in a towel and once the towel fell as he was trying to get her to leave and she just stared down and told everyone about it, she has also unlocked his bed room door in the middle of the night to go in and give him kisses and cuddles because he wont let her do it while hes awake she used to do this when I lived with them. There has been multiple other instances of this nature.

Because of this it has put my on my back foot when it comes to her and my son being alone, when I change his nappy she sits next to me or my partner talking to the baby but also comments on how we are wiping him, because of these instances me and my partner agreed no one changes his nappy but us unless someone is baby siting, his mother didnt like this amd then complained to wider family saying we were stopping her grandmother experience. My mother in law is continually asking to have my son alone I do not work and my partner barley dose so it is very rare we need a baby super I also have post ppa and its hard for me to leave him anyway even with my partner.

Am I over reacting? I dont speak to my own mother but of my dad was saying this about me and I had a daughter he wouldnt be coming near her ever I need advice honest advice please xx

Nappy Changes

So, my 10 month old has discovered his willy. Every nappy change is a struggle now as he just pulls on it and im worried he will hurt himself. Its also a pain to then keep his hands away from his mouth mid nappy change when cleaning him up.

Any advise on the best way to navigate this would be appreciated.

Sincerely a first time boy mum ✌️

ITS COMIN HOME

Who’s letting their LO stay up to watch the match tonight??? Talking babies/young toddlers

Nap lengths

My boy is 3 months old. Some days he has naps that at 30 mins. Some are 3 hours. I tend to let him have what he needs unless we need to be somewhere. Does anyone else let their baby sleep or wake them up?

Sleep?

Does anyone else feel although they spend ages putting their baby to sleep for them to sleep 0.5 seconds 😭 I’m literally losing my mind

Sleep

I have nearly an 8 week old and I am not sure if he is working too hard during a feed in the day as he then sleeps for around 2/3 hours if he is on my chest after each bottle which doesn’t leave much play time. This has only been more recently.

-What size teat are other babies on? Or is he just going through a development stage so requires more sleep.