Mom advice pls

first family vacation with 3 little kids — San Diego vs Morocco?

I’m looking for honest advice because I feel really stuck and I want outside opinions.

My husband and I have never really had a vacation that was just us and our kids. We have 3 little ones: a newborn, a 2-year-old, and a 4-year-old. I’ve been wanting to make a special family memory while they’re little, even though I know they won’t remember every detail.

I planned a trip to San Diego for my son’s birthday because it felt like it fit our family right now. My son loves sea lions, so I wanted to make that part of his birthday experience.

My San Diego plan:

- Family-friendly Airbnb so we have a home base
- Buy groceries and cook homemade meals most days
- Still go out for food and experiences
- Beach days (my kids have never really experienced the beach)
- Nighttime beach walks
- Sea lions
- Legoland
- Zoo
- Coastal drives
- Shopping and food that my husband and I enjoy
- Possibly a day trip to LA

The estimate I found was around $2,400 total for flights, hotel/Airbnb, and rental car (not including all food/shopping).

My husband now wants Morocco because he says it’s cheaper and the food is better. His dad and stepmom have a home there, so we would have a place to stay.

I understand why Morocco could be meaningful, but I’m struggling with whether it makes sense with our kids’ ages.

My concerns:

- I have never left the country, so I know it would be exciting, but I’m nervous doing an international trip with 3 little kids.
- My kids need routine.
- My 4-year-old gets bored easily, doesn’t like long walks, is scared of some animals, and mainly loves parks, playing, and burning energy.
- I worry about car seats, our Zoe Trio stroller, transportation, naps, food, and the overall stress.
- His family has already gone to Morocco and done things like camel rides, ATVs, shopping, etc. I worry I’ll feel like I’m following something they already experienced instead of us creating our own first adventure.
- I don’t want a trip where my husband spends most of the time with his family while I’m managing the kids.

The part that hurts me is that we’ve lived close to his family for years, and I really wanted this to be something that was just our little family making memories. I want our kids to have experiences that are ours too.

I also want to mention: I’m not against Morocco. I’m actually excited about trying new foods and seeing a new country. I just don’t know if it’s the right trip for this stage of life.

For moms who have traveled internationally with toddlers and babies:

- Would you choose Morocco over San Diego at these ages?
- Is Morocco actually fun for young kids, or is it better when they’re older?
- Is saving money worth the extra stress of international travel with 3 small children?
- How do you balance one partner wanting a heritage/family trip and the other wanting a first family vacation that feels like your own?

I really want honest opinions, even if you disagree with me. ❤️

in our community

Is this rude?

My partner's mum is a hoarder and wanted to do a clear out of her house. So she leant her our vacuum cleaner as we had a spare. The one we gave her was bigger and better suction but we managed.
She leant it for approx 2 months.

When my partner went to pick it up, the nozzle had broken (snapped) she had taped it back on with thick masking tape.
She then mentioned she had ordered herself the same model etc, due to be delivered later that day. It was a Henry vacuum cleaner.

She made no offer to replace ours. She was smiling that it was a great vacuum and she couldn't wait to get one of her own. She also struggles financially so it's a bit awkward.

Is this rude or am I overreacting?

Housework and kids

Would love to know some opinions.

I was with a mum friend and she made a comment (wasn’t to be mean or offend me) but it did make me think.
We were talking about cleaning/housework and saying how having kids and keeping up with the house was hard. I then said I clean as I go, l spend 10 mins after meal times cleaning or I’ll let my little one have some free play while I put washing on or away, hoovering ect.

She was really taken aback and said oh no she lets it build during the day and then once her kids are in bed then cleans, tidies and gets all the jobs done. She thinks that doing it while they are awake is taking time away from the kids and being with them.

I’m really interested to know what people think and what you do? Because I feel a bit guilty now maybe In looking at the housework all wrong? But for me personally I can’t sit with mess all around me it makes me feel suffocated.

I’m 7 weeks pp and It feels like my husband hates me…

The first thing my husband did when we got home from the hospital after having our babygirl is throw my pregnancy pillow across the room…

He asked what I wanted as a push present, I gave him some ideas, he didn’t get me anything. He only got me a present after I gave him gifts for his first Father’s Day…I didn’t get anything for Mother’s Day either.

Our 5th night home, I was bawling my eyes out and crying out in pain because my nipples hurt so badly due to being so new to breast feeding and from exhaustion. He was next to me in bed and on his phone…didn’t ask if I was okay or if I needed anything.

Those are just a few of the many. I don’t know what to say to him at this point because he just shuts me down or becomes super defensive whenever I try to talk to him about it. I feel so alone.

If you saw another child pushing your child and the mum wasnt doing anything what would you do?

This is in the playground

Am I overthinking this?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month now, he’s not my baby’s father but he’s been very supportive of me and my pregnancy. When we first started talking and dating we would spend a good amount of time talking on the phone, to be more precise about 6-8hrs on the phone. Now after meeting in person for the first time we will maybe spend about an hour to two hours on the phone before he has to go to bed for work. When he has free time in the day he uses it to take naps after work or spend time gaming with his friend because they also live far away and he’s trying to maintain his friendships with them. Other times it’s time with his coworkers who he’s made friends with, and then once that’s done he’ll be home normally by 8-9pm and depending on what happens he’ll play video games on his own or clean. By 11pm he’ll have time for me and will let me know he’s going to call. We do text throughout the day but because he’s normally busy with something it’s kind of sparse and or more spaced out. I’ve brought up before how I would love to occupy more of his time if possible but nothing really changed and I was left feeling like I’m just begging for his attention when he doesn’t really have time for me anymore. Which he said wasn’t the case he’s just bad at accommodating me into his day now because he’s just doing what he normally would be doing if he was single.

Should I be annoyed?? Husband rant!

I've broken two fingers in my dominant hand. I can just about eat with my left hand and that's it. My fingers are strapped up and I'm in a lot of pain.

First thing my husband said was "you're still doing the housework tomorrow" I said thank you for being so caring and considerate.

Anyway I came home and he had done most of the housework but still left me to do the upstairs. Cleaning bathrooms, hoovering, dusting etc. It's taken me three hours as I had to stop and start due to the pain and my husband still managed to make snide remarks about the quality of my cleaning and how long it was taking..