On a scale of 1-10, how pissed would you be? Would you say something, and if so, what issues would you want to chat about

For the record, my husband is pretty hands on and a good dad. I work from home with our 11m old. I get 1.5hrs to go to the gym once a week during her and our toddler’s awake hours. Otherwise I go while they are sleeping.

Well, I get back from the gym today. My husband said “oh I accidentally put our 11m old down an hour early at 8:30a so I woke her after 5m”. Ffs she has had a 9:30a nap since she was 5 weeks old. I always leave her sleep sack on her change table. Instead, he has thrown a whole washing basket of CLEAN clothes across the laundry searching for her other one. Next, he broke the diaper bin (again) taking out the dirty bag so I had to fix it. Fast forward to this afternoon. I’m throwing the ball for our dog outside with our toddler. She goes inside to where my husband is with our 11m. I’m watching them through the door. Toddler appears to be hugging 11m old who then starts screaming. My toddler has bit her naked back right in front of husband. I’m fucking over it. Like, can I even leave them to go to the gym or outside alone?!!!

in our community

In a pickle…

MIL fell out with us since Mother’s Day (March 2026) because she said my LG is 6 months old and she’s still not had her on her own. She asked if we don’t trust her or something in which I replied not really because you haven’t show me the confidence you can look after her. (Bearing in mind, she comes once every 10 days and stays for an hour at most, never offers to change her nappy when she’s around and doesn’t give her bottle. Basically knows nothing about her. When she was 4 months she told me to lie her in the bath to let her splash). I haven’t spoken to her since March after she stormed out, but in the mean time my husband went to speak to her about what happened and cut a long story short she’s blaming me for everything and now has asked my husband to pick our LG to go her house without me. I’ve said to husband if she wants to come and see her she can come to ours, if she doesn’t agree then I will go with them to MIL house. What would you do in my shoes?

How many meals a day is your LO having?

Just wondering when to make the leap from 2 to 3 meals a day at this point (9 months). Whenever we have tried a 3rd meal one of the others tends to fail ie not as much interest or consumption.

So when do we start potty training?

I see some people start when they are under 12m. Thats great but I use a daycare service because I work. So for those of us who aren't 💯 with the kid , when seems to be realistic? We are 17m old.

Child's Birthday being planned w/o me

We are driving to my husband's home state soon to visit his family for a few days. We only see them about once a year. Over the years, because of unhealthy dynamics, unfair treatment, triangulation, and other issues, my mother-in-law and I no longer speak. At this point, I would honestly be okay never seeing her again because of how she's treated me.

Our youngest turns 4 while we're there, and my mother-in-law has decided to host a backyard birthday party. At first, I told myself I'd just let her and my husband handle it since I wasn't included anyway. But as the trip gets closer, she continues calling and messaging my husband (the phone calls always happen when I'm not around) about the planning, and I had to admit to myself that I'm actually really bothered by all of this.

I kept trying to focus on the fact that my son will love having a party, and that's what matters most. But I also feel incredibly excluded and hurt. I know this wasn't an oversight. I genuinely believe she's intentionally left me out, and I imagine she's enjoying planning a family gathering with my husband while excluding me. It feels so strange because... this is *my* child too.

Now I'm finding myself thinking, "Don't ask me to help when we get there." You wanted to plan this without me? Then go for it. Don't expect me to jump in setting up or cleaning up for a party I wasn't invited to help create. At the same time, I worry that refusing will only make me look bad—which has often felt like exactly the narrative she wants the rest of the family to see.

I'm really torn. My number one priority is that my child has a wonderful birthday. Beyond that, though, I'm not okay with any of this. I'm hurt that I've been excluded. I'm frustrated that my husband continues to find ways to justify or normalize this dynamic instead of recognizing how painful it is. And I'm angry because I know there's a good chance she'll expect me to happily help execute a party I had no voice in planning. I don't want to feel controlled or manipulated into playing along. Our relationship isn't distant because of a lack of opportunity—it's distant because control has always mattered more to her than having a genuine relationship with me.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would you handle this while protecting your own peace without taking away from your child's special day? 🥺

Weaning

Is it too soon to be thinking about it?

I was thinking of getting some spoons for my 4 month old to play with so he gets used to them, am I being silly?

Just wanted to add I’m not planning on actually starting the food until he’s 6 months ☺️

Exhausted

I am so exhausted from constantly being told by my partner that im lazy, I dont do enough, that I dont appreciate him enough blah blah blah. I am the one who has looked after our baby boy from the day he was born doing everything. I did everything during his nicu stay with no help or support from my partner. We were in nicu for a month and I can probably count on one hand how many times he came and saw our son in nicu. I am the one who does everything for our son, does all the night feeds, bath, keeping him entertained etc etc. Yet im apparently lazy because some days i can't even empty the bin as baby boy wont let me have a second. Im lazy because im exhausted after being up all hours looking after our son. Im lazy because ive gained weight and im currently not prioritising loosing it right now, oh and I also have a auto immune disease which does help with my weight either. But anyway... all I get is negative things from him