Anyone else have regret? Does it get better?
Tl;dr does anyone relate to not really liking their baby and does it get better?
From the end of my pregnancy to now almost a year later, I’ve had such a difficult time with my baby. Postpartum has been really hard and I’m exclusively pumping and having a lot of issues with my baby’s sleep and he’s just always been and continues to be a fussy baby. I try to connect with him but my cup runs empty a lot and I don’t have a village to lean on. Anyone else can relate to regret having their baby almost a year later? Does it get better when they’re toddlers? My boy is super energetic and won’t sit still but is really reactive and I feel like I have nothing in common with him personality-wise. Originally, I wanted a girl I could sit and read and paint with and that’s not what I got. I kind of wish I could have a do-over and roll the dice on a baby again because it seems my friends have chill and easy babies and I’m doing all this on hard mode, feeling really depleted and not seeing things get better.
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I'm going to be honest and I think a lot of people are going to coddle you in the comment section because yes- a lot of people do struggle to connect with their babies and maybe you are struggling with some undiagnosed ppd? but from the way you are describing it- you are the problem. You are his mother. You say he's a hard baby maybe he's a hard baby because his mother doesn't seem to like him. Can you imagine. You don't have to get anything out of being his mother you brought him into this world. He's a baby. The way you talk about it it's like you're looking for a partner - you don't have anything in common personality wise? I am sorry that you are struggling but I think that your attitude towards the situation is the source of your suffering and your child is suffering the consequences. I think you need to speak to a licensed therapist and not seek help and reassurance on a social app.
I was in a similar situation when I had my middle. Him and my daughter were 11 months apart and I coukd t connect with him when he was born either. I had a lot of resentment towards him because I felt like I had him too soon and he robbed me of being able to enjoy the baby stuff with sister. I didn't really like him and just went through the motions of making sure he was cared for. Then one magical day I made a one off comment that caught my obgyns attention and everyone realized I was battling a pretty awful case of post partum depression. Once we addressed that (almost a year in it was around his 1st birthday) I was able to connect enjoy and bond with him finally.
Ppd doesn't always present as crying and inability to function sometimes its not being able to connect or anxiety or overwhelm especially when you don't have a village. Talk to your ob or your pcp about it so they can hopefully help you through it too. Mine is 10 now and I couldn't imagine life without him.
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