Being told I’m naturally lazy..
Hi everyone, I posted a while ago about my partner getting angry that I wasn’t doing his dinner every night/cleaning the house etc…while I’m busy looking after our baby full time on maternity leave.
Our baby is now 11 weeks, and my partner has again commented that I never clean the house (he’s made several sly comments this week eg when I commented about a mark on the floor he said “well the house needs to be cleaned before you worry about small stuff like that”), his washing “isn’t always getting done”, he also says the lawn hasn’t been mowed (and that I should be doing that - putting the baby in a sling) and the dinner still isn’t getting done like he wanted (despite me trying a few times last week begrudgingly..) and he has now just said that I’m NATURALLY LAZY. I honestly nearly lost it. He says if HE was looking after the baby more would be getting done…and again OUR MUMS DID IT WHY CANT YOU.
I don’t know what to do I have nobody to talk to because I don’t want them to think my partner is a total CU*T (excuse my french), but sadly he really is. I never dreamed he’d be like this. To say these things to the mother of his child that is looking after the baby full time.
I’m looking after our baby 24/7, he hasn’t changed anything about his lifestyle - still goes to a sports club still once a week (same as pre baby), has been on several nights out in the last few months and only looks after baby here and there in the week for an hour or so. He even sleeps in at the weekend, I don’t ask him to wake early and if he says he will…he never actually does, today an example. “I’ll get up at 7.30”…gets up at 10am. I don’t need him to get up anyway, I enjoy the time without the complete wan*er. I hate it when he gets home from work, I hate spending weekend time with him, I really hate him. I never ever say anything hurtful back to him because I’m not sinking to his level. All I can think is our poor sweet baby boy, he doesn’t deserve this.
He says the only positive thing about me is that I LOOK AFTER OUR BABY REALLY WELL. This is no exaggeration and I’m sad to even type this. I told him his mother would be ashamed if she knew all of this and I’m so close to telling her.
I wish I was making this up. Seeing it written down just looks so much worse.
Basically unless I become his housekeeper, seems like we’re doomed.
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Sounds like it's time to have your own life. Why does he get to dictate how this goes? You sound unhappy
This makes me so sad for you. Honestly, if you have a decent enough relationship with his mother, I think you should talk to her about it. Even if you don’t frame it as complaining about him (which would be totally warranted) and maybe say “my husband said you used to be able to look after a newborn AND cut the grass AND make dinner AND keep the house clean - how did you do it?!” So it’s like asking her for advice while also showing what an ungrateful pig he is.
It’s definitely not normal behaviour, and the only way to make him see that is leaving him with the baby for a week and see how much housework he does, but that’s often very hard/impossible to do at this stage. Easier said than done
Def tell his mom and also definitely sink to his level and serve it back to him. Fuck this guy for real.
Tell his mother. He needs to be held accountable. He has no idea wht he is talking about. But make sure his mom would agree you. Some moms raised their son this way
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