Husband disappears
Hi everyone, I need you to be brutally honest. If I’m doing something wrong, I genuinely want to know.
My husband sometimes disappears for hours without telling me where he’s going or when he’ll be back.
This isn’t an everyday occurrence, but every couple of months he’ll leave for 4–8 hours while I’m home alone with our baby. If we’re arguing, he’s even left overnight to stay at his parents’ house, leaving me alone with the baby.
For example, today he told me he was going to the gym at 10 a.m. He didn’t come home until 2 p.m. When I asked where he’d been, he immediately got angry and said, “Here we go again.”
Do I not have the right to know where my husband was for four hours? He didn’t check in on me or the baby once. I hadn’t even eaten breakfast or lunch because I’d been taking care of the baby. When he got home, I noticed he didn’t eat anything either, so I assumed he’d already eaten while he was out.
For context, we hadn’t even been fighting. The night before he was very sweet and affectionate, so I thought everything was fine.
Another example was Father’s Day. I took my husband, my dad, and my father-in-law out for lunch. Afterward, my husband said he was just going to drop off dessert at his parents’ house. He left around 3 p.m. and didn’t come home until 11 p.m.—eight hours later.
I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer. I even called his parents, and they said he wasn’t there. They became worried too and started calling him. His dad even drove around the neighborhood looking for him.
When my husband finally got home and I asked where he’d been, he got angry with me.
So… what am I doing wrong?
These are only two examples. There have been many more incidents like this.
I’ve asked him to go to couples therapy, but he refuses. I know our communication isn’t great. Sometimes I avoid bringing things up because he gets angry very easily and has a bad temper.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Am I being unreasonable for expecting him to tell me where he is and check in when he’s gone for hours, especially when I’m home alone caring for our baby?
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Uhh red flags girl. I would think he is cheating tbh.
Lol you have every right to know where your husband is. I know I’d be losing my ever loving mind if my man left and didn’t tell me where he was going.
It's not unreasonable. I think you need to try and do some digging to see what he's doing.
Unfortunately, him getting angry and defensive are immediate signs of guilt. If there was nothing wrong, he'd have no issue explaining where he's been/what he's been doing. He's also unfortunately won by you not wanting to bring it up because that's what he wants. As hard as it'll be, it sounds like a serious conversation is needed
Disappearing for hours on end without any communication as to where is he, who he is with, or what he’s doing, are all massive red flags.
On Father’s Day when he went missing, what excuse did he tell his dad where he was?
It sounds like he’s seeing escorts/prostitutes in these escapades because you mentioned he does this every few months. An affair he’d be missing a lot more often than that.
Can you get access to his phone?
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