in

England

Childhood trauma

I had a pretty traumatic childhood, right through until I was living independently at 18.
Since having my first baby 4 months ago I’ve gone no contact with my mum, mainly because I haven’t heard from her so I’ve decided to completely cut ties.
I didn’t really process my childhood until I had my own child and I’m struggling processing it all and all the memories that constantly flood my brain. I can’t understand how two people can have a child and neglect them so badly. Bully them and make them feel awful about themselves. Get blind drunk and put the pressure of looking after young babies on other children.
Anyone else been through something similar? I’ve always brushed it off but now knowing how much I love my child and how I would do anything for their happiness, it’s hit me how little my parents really cared for me and only now it hurts so badly. My husband doesn’t understand and just says I should consider therapy and doesn’t get why I’m suddenly heart broken over a parent who has always been shit to me and nothing has changed. My friends all have good relationships with their parents.