This is really getting to me

I’ve recently made a post about this and I’ve also been looking into it on other mum apps. Reddit and just Google but my toddler will go to his nan for comfort rather than me if we are both there together and tonight he’d rather go over to his dad when he fell over, over me when we was both sat there together.
If it’s just me and him of course he comes to me but when other people are around it seems he wants them and not me which is really getting me down as I’ve seen a lot of videos and posts about having a ‘secure attachment’ and one of the obvious signs of that is your baby seeks YOU out for comfort when there’s others around and my child doesn’t ever really do this 😢😢


Which makes me feel like I’m just terrible mother sometimes I lose my cool because I single handedly do everything for him day and night and I’m overwhelmed and touched out. Where as no one else gets those feelings so they’re never snappy or on edge around him, is this maybe why he prefers others over me? What could the reasoning be behind this am I terrible and he just prefers anyone other than me 😢

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Hey lovely secure attachment develops in to him/her going to others and to play independently or go and explore in time.

It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job with secure attachment imo!

Kiddos also just go through these phases right now mine cries when he dad enters the room and asks to be picked up even if we are laughing and im the middle of a game. It's tough but it's a phase right now it'll come back around at some point I'm sure.

You feeling burnt out by motherhood is so normal, and they don't have the ability to hold grudges at this age!
Flip it if she/he's happy with others duck out and have a break, nap, read a book, have a bath and have a mini reset

You'll feel better in your body and be able to be more available which is good. But your baby loves you tired, snappy, on edge, they just don't know how to show it yet consistently 💜

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Also I'm ADHD and the over touching is a real problem! I get super triggered when my older one doesn't listen to me and I'm tired I get snappy, I always apologize but say this is why I snapped can we be a team and do better next time and not do, x,y,z and I'll try not to be snappy etc I also have rejection sensitivity disforia and so perceived rejection make me feel horrendous, actual rejection moreso.

It's really hard having these big feelings, but we are human as well. If I'm feeling over touched all ask partner to let me have a shower or bath to reset. If I'm feeling snappy I'll go to another room or put my loops in and just try and take away some of the noise stimulation.

I read that parents (mother's) with ND experience good parenting as bad, & bad parenting as terrible). Whereas NT can experience good parenting as great & bad parenting as fine! I feel so seen and realized I wasn't me.

It's tough but it's just a phase, and I promise your LO loves you. I've added this in case this resonates 💜

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