in

Florida

MIL

I’ve been having some issues with my mil and sent her this text. I wanted to be direct but respectful. Does this message sound mean?

💬 I’m sending this message because I don’t want to be interrupted or have the conversation become emotional. I want to communicate my thoughts clearly.

I’m going to be direct. Sam advocates for me because he is my partner. I would never expect him to address concerns with my mother — I would handle that myself because she’s my mother. You may disagree with that approach, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

I am genuinely grateful that you’ve allowed us to stay in your home during this time. At the same time, from the day I moved in, I’ve felt uncomfortable. I’ve tried to put those feelings aside and approach each interaction with an open mind, but that feeling has remained because of repeated situations that have left me feeling uneasy.

I don’t feel comfortable coming to you directly because, honestly, I don’t even feel comfortable having casual conversations with you. We are very different people, and the times I’ve let my guard down and been myself, I’ve regretted it. When we talk, I overthink everything I say because I’m afraid of how it will be interpreted.

In the past, I’ve made small talk only to later learn you told Sam that I’m “not driven” and other things that hurt my feelings. You’ve also told both of us that you believe I’m using him. Comments like those have made it difficult for me to feel relaxed/comfortable around you.

It also made me very upset when we visited your parents and they knew sam and I were having relationship issues. That was not information I believed should have been shared, and it made me feel that my privacy wasn’t respected.

Sam, Miles, and I are a family. He is my immediate family, and I am his. We are committed to putting each other first. Aside from one occasion, every time I’ve left the house has been because I felt uncomfortable in your presence. This is really putting a strain on Sam and mine’s relationship.

I would genuinely like for us to have a respectful relationship. That requires boundaries, mutual respect, and kindness. I am willing to reflect and take responsibility for my contribution in this. I hope you’re willing to do the same.

I’m not sending this message to argue or assign blame. I’m sending it because I want things to improve, and that can’t happen unless these concerns are acknowledged and respected.

This situation has been emotionally exhausting for both me and Sam. My hope is that you’ll take the time to consider what I’ve shared and try to understand it from my perspective, even if you don’t agree with every part of it.💬