How do I stop feeling so bitter?

My husband left me 6/7 months ago now, he said he fell out of love with me because I didn’t give him love after I had our boys (pretty much back to back pregnancies). After my last, I had a section and a terrible recovery and was readmitted with a horrific infection and when I got home I was solo parenting as he had to go back to work. I felt so resentful at times because he wouldn’t help with our toddler and newborn and even after speaking up, he’d say he’d help and never did so I never felt emotionally able to give him anything.
I felt so unsupported after both of my pregnancies, even during them to be honest.
What irks me is that our relationship has been rocky, he hasn’t been the nicest to me and has lived as though he was single throughout the whole relationship. I put up with so much and always stayed loyal and kept loving him through the bad times. Now, I feel really angry and sad that through my tough time after birth that he easily called it quits and didn’t give me the same energy when things got tough on my part. At my most vulnerable moment when emotions are high and erratic, he throws in the towel like our family isn’t worth it? He comes to see the boys a few times a week and I feel like I hate him. He’s being disgustingly nice to me and tries to be affectionate sometimes and it makes me irrationally angry. I tell him it’s not fair to act that way when he knows I love him and he doesn’t love me and he doesn’t listen. Sorry it’s a bit of a ramble but I just wanted to get this off my chest!

in our community

Beige play and Sensory tables... I don't get it.

I need a rant or perhaps just educating further on this matter.

I do not understand the absolute obsession in nursery's, play cafes and stay and plays with sensory tables and 0 colour.

I have an extremely active 1yr old boy who loves music, playing outside with sticks, stones, pine cones and water. Lots of natural resources. But then he also loves his fisher price little people, balls, bright coloured books and duplo.
He is chaos, noise and an absolute tornado. But he also calmly tidys things on shelves, sits and has story time and is very loving.

We have just come home from one of many stay and plays at a nursery, who are lovely. But they are completely on the band wagon of nothing having any colour and lots of sensory tables.
Firstly, the sensory tables baffle me for under 3s. First of all there are so many choking hazards, but it also seems that it limits play to one location. God forbid my son takes the dinosaurs from the jurassic soft play table over to the music table. How is this encouraging child led play?
The set up seems to limit him to 'stations' and im constantly made to feel like I need to stop his play and imagination if it doesnt match how the room is set up.

Then the beige just feels so dull and boring, especially with no music. I totally agree having every primary colour splattered on every wall is super over stimulating... but none at all?
Can kids not enjoy both? I thought child led play was meant to be exactly that?

This new world of beige and boring makes me feel like im having to mute my wonderful, clever, loud, colourful tornado of a boy.
Has anyone else felt this way or am I really missing something here?

Bit of background- I work in a lovely school that seems to achieve a nice balance.
I absolutely agree with and see the benefits of more station based/ sensory table play for reception children. This is specifically about under 3.
First time mum. Little boy has not attended nursery yet, only nursery led stay and plays.

Nursery - is this normal?

My child has been harmed by another child at nursery 5 times in the last 5 weeks. I’ve tried to address it with the nursery and told them that I don’t feel that my child is safe but they keep dismissing this and telling me that it’s completely normal and ‘bound to happen’. I’m a first time mum so I don’t know, is this normal or would you change nursery?

Neglectful neighbors

I don’t know if I’m just too much of a helicopter Mom but is this normal for anybody else? am I being too judgmental. My neighbors let their kid walk around for 10 minutes around their house. All by himself crying for daddy. I don’t know it just breaks my heart.

Feeling sad about my experience

My son just turned 3 month old 🙌🏻 and I now find myself looking back on his newborn phase and feeling a ton of emotions! The most surprising to me, being anger and sadness… all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom but I feel like I’ve had a harder go of it than I ever imagined… so I just need to vent! We didn’t get to bond properly because of his complications - I could never get him to latch / I couldn’t produce enough because he had to stay in the nicu - I couldn’t hold him and love on him because of the wires, and the treatment. This is all while I’m still a patient myself but I’m constantly up in that nicu with him… I couldn’t sleep without him near me… he was with me for 9 months and now I’m supposed to “rest and recover” when there’s a missing part of me 2 floors away?? Then I get discharged… walking into my home without my baby…. It felt like a strange empty place.. finally we get to bring him home but again not the way I wanted… he’s got to stay on the light therapy… which means minimal holding… all these moments that are usually so precious to most are so sad to me… my milk never came in… I felt disconnected from my baby… then we have a week where it’s just regular newborn hard which was what I was prepared for! Then here comes colic. He would cry and scream constantly and I would cry because there was nothing I could do to help! And I didn’t want to ask for help because no one wants to hold a screaming baby… but we got through it… now he absolutely refuses to be put down for any amount of time.. even in the car seat… he literally screams so hard he starts to loose his voice.. which means going anywhere is so tedious and I’m stuck at home… and I blame it on that week I couldn’t hold him… suddenly ur out of ur warm save place and taken to a loud, bright, scary place away from the only person u know… that’s traumatic!! And now he still has reflux giving him a hard time!! Though everything I’ve looked at the positives and I still found happy moments but I guess in this moment I’m feeling sorry for what we didn’t get….

Help me..

My husband of 8 years woke up yesterday and said he no longer loves me and hasnt for the last 3 years. Today we talked I ended up seeing his phone and it was another women. A women we had a problem with 3 years ago. He fell in love with her... and out of it with me.. I stayed home while he created a career. I dont have a bank account. I dont have a job. I have nothing...

If you choose to homeschool, what are your reasons?

I’m not judging at all, just generally curious as it is not something I would personally ever even consider.