Loneliness
Anyone else just feeling really lonely but still loving being a mum?
I have a 14 month old and don’t have many friends that have had babies at the same time as me, a couple who have toddlers 1-2 years older.
I’ve felt really alone most of my mat leave but especially recently as I’ve decided to not return to work and the 2 friends I met up with on mat leave have returned.
My two friends who have the toddlers don’t work full time but have made no effort with me really, I’ve only met up with them once or twice in the whole
14 months. It’s made me look at them differently especially as they’ve been here not that long ago and know how isolating it can be in the earlier months. I feel like they’re not as close friends to me as I thought they were, I certainly would have made more effort with them if I’d had the baby first and they were having a baby a year after me.
A few of my friends are now pregnant at the same time and I can’t help but feel resentful that they’re all going to have each other when I had practically no one. I’m of course very happy for them and it doesn’t take away my happiness for their baby news.
At the minute, I just go to play cafes on my own or soft plays and it just feels really really lonely. I’ve booked in to 3 different classes starting from September which I know will help. I just find some days I’m just mooching around the house not knowing what to do with our time, a lot of the time going out is awful because my daughter screams in the pram and car seat so I just feel really trapped. I would absolutely love to have friends who would check in every now and then and call round for a coffee or meet up locally. I just wish I had more “sister” type friends if that makes sense.
Sorry I just really really needed to get that out even if no one reads it.
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This is where I'm at.
I have a big family but still feel lonely as hell as everyone is at a different stage to me.
My friends are either at different stages of life or are really unreliable.
Some have practically disappeared since I became a mama.
So I fully get it..🫶🏼
Joining groups will definitely help, but if you chat to someone you like, be bold and ask for her number for playdates etc. Or nothing will materialise. It's a bit daunting at first but worth it.
Do it at soft play/ play cafe too, especially if your child starts playing with theirs.
My friends had babies 6 or 7 years before me! But i built a couple of good friendship groups from classes and met up often in the day, but also occational nights baby free too, even after some of us went back to work, we still met up often.
I then emigrated to Australia when my daughter was 20 months so i had to start from scratch. We started swimming lessons here 2 weeks in and made friends with three mums over a month or so, and made friends with their friends etc. So i'm back to having some friendship groups to meet up with and at least once a month we go over one of the girls houses for a mums night after bedtime! I still chat to / keep in touch with my uk mum friends too, some of them will be friends for life, for sure 🩷x
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