Does anyone else feel like this? 😞
I don’t think people talk about this side of pregnancy enough.
This baby was planned. Rationally, I absolutely want this baby, and I’m committed to becoming a mum. But emotionally… I’m finding it so much harder than I ever expected.
I’m exhausted all the time. I feel sick on and off. My body doesn’t feel like mine anymore. I look in the mirror and barely recognise myself because I’m bloated, my clothes don’t fit properly, and I’ve spent years working so hard to get healthy and feel confident in my own skin. I feel disconnected from myself.
On top of that, all my brain seems to focus on is everything I’m about to lose. My independence. My freedom. My career. My relationship as it is now. My finances. The ability to just decide to go away for the weekend or spend a lazy Sunday doing absolutely nothing.
Everyone tells you, “It’ll all be worth it,” and I truly believe them. But right now, the sacrifices feel so real, while the rewards are still impossible for me to picture because I haven’t met this little person yet.
And then I feel guilty… because shouldn’t I just be happy? Shouldn’t I be glowing and excited? Instead, I feel overwhelmed, scared, emotional, and like I’m grieving the life I’ve built, even though this is a life I consciously chose.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s felt like this. Did anyone else struggle with these feelings in early pregnancy? Did it get easier once your baby arrived, or even later in pregnancy? I could really do with hearing that I’m not alone… the thought of me possible already being a terrible mum breaks me.
Am I wrong for wanting to deliver my son on my own then have his dad meet him after?
To start off, I already feel bad about even considering not letting him in the room. My baby’s father has been the worst person to go through pregnancy with. He was in jail the first trimester Jan-Apr, and on house arrest from Apr-Jul. He held down a job for three weeks while on house arrest and has yet to get another job. I’ve been working since May and plan on working until the baby gets here. On top of that he’s been the most difficult person ever. He downplays everything and treats my emotions like it’s just pregnancy and I’m being dramatic. I moved in with him and his family once he got out of jail and has since moved back in with my family because of the disrespect. It’s been nothing but emotional and verbal abuse from him and has been supported by all his family. His mom recently texted me the nastiest text and basically berated me talking about I’m trying to keep my son from his father. Keep in mind, the son in question ain’t even here yet. I’m 8 months pregnant and have literally felt red flags in my body from him and his family. I would like to give birth on my own and not have anyone ruining the moment but I don’t want to fit into a bitter baby mama stereotype. I have no issues with him being around his son, but if you couldn’t even support me correctly through pregnancy,
I have no clue how you’d be any kind of help in the delivery room. Does anyone have a similar situation or even just advice on how to handle this? I’ve even thought about letting him watch but not allowing him to touch or speak to me but he’s known to be controlling and will do whatever he sees fit. Maybe I can put those boundaries in place and the minute he breaks them he can leave? I don’t know. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!
