My husbands kindness is ruining our lives and I’m sick of it

I loved how kind my Husband was when we met, but now it just feels like it’s gone too far and I’m sick of it. He does everything for everyone, and most of these people don’t care about him at all. He’s too self sacrificing to the point he’s just constantly screwing me and the kids over. We always come last.

We have plans, but a friend needs help moving or fixing their car or just got dumped and he’s right there to help and our plans get overrided. He gave our electric bill money to a guy who knew in high school who just had a baby and was left by his baby mama, and now we have a shut off notice on the door. He gave the battery OUT OF HIS CAR (not a spare) to some guy visiting the neighbors house, because his battery was shot and get couldn’t get home. He moved in a relative into our spare bedroom who was evicted, who refuses to get a job and is rude as fuck to me and the kids. He gave our son’s bike to the kid down the road who had his bike stolen. He takes in stray animals all the time, but it becomes my responsibility because he’s never home and always manages to get stuck somewhere helping someone. He was too nice to the single mom across the street and that got really messy… He has eaten maybe ten hot meals at the table with the family in about two years because he’s always on call as a volunteer firefighter and takes every single call. He’s missing our whole lives…but he says we have forever to do these things and these people need help today. Also, we barely survive paycheck to paycheck.

Meanwhile, something breaks in our house or we need a babysitter or literally anything, and none of these people are anywhere to be found, and if they do show up they bitch and curse at us the whole time that it’s stupid they had to get off work to work for more but for free.

I tell him all the time they are taking advantage and he just doesn’t seem care. He says we need to help others when we can, and kindness is key, and good karma will come back around eventually…. But I’m just tired of working hard to do nice things for our family and they always fail because he’s so focused on everyone else life. We don’t have forever, because tomorrow is never promised. But when I say that he tells me to not be so negative, and just trust him.

in our community

Nursery - is this normal?

My child has been harmed by another child at nursery 5 times in the last 5 weeks. I’ve tried to address it with the nursery and told them that I don’t feel that my child is safe but they keep dismissing this and telling me that it’s completely normal and ‘bound to happen’. I’m a first time mum so I don’t know, is this normal or would you change nursery?

Neglectful neighbors

I don’t know if I’m just too much of a helicopter Mom but is this normal for anybody else? am I being too judgmental. My neighbors let their kid walk around for 10 minutes around their house. All by himself crying for daddy. I don’t know it just breaks my heart.

Just curious: who mows the lawn?

Who mows the lawn at your house? I have been mowing this summer because my husband works in the heat all day and he shouldn't have to come home and spend more time in the heat and less time with his kids. I usually mow during nap. He says he's really appreciative but also feels bad since he feels it's the man's job. My neighbor (an older man) came up to me mowing today and said 'your husband too lazy to mow? A girl shouldn't be mowing.' I said 'he's working a lot and I'm making his life easier.' If im not working in the summer then I can help out at home. What everyone's thoughts?

Advice please 😭

Hi I don’t really have any friend or family to talk to this about. I’ve been staying home with my two small children for about a year now, except I’m not supposed to be a SAHM. My husband has been begging me to get a job and I am trying to I’m not sure what he expects from me. He currently works one job from noon to 4pm and another from 5pm to midnight. He will not give up either and has asked me to find something with early morning hours for example from 5am-11am. It’s been difficult finding something like that. Even more difficult to make it to an interview since I am the one that always has the kids. We can not afford daycare, the only baby sitter we have is his mother and she works all week 7am- 5pm. I’ve gotten a couple calls about jobs but he just tells me the hours won’t work for us, or that we can figure out something to do with the kids. But I have lost three jobs bc “figuring something out” usually just means I’m taking them to work with me which always results in me losing my job. Along with that my daughter has autism and has weekly OT and speech appointments that he will not take them to. Is there something I’m missing to make a job work? He tells me I’m just being negative about it. I’m truly just feeling stuck about what I need to be doing.

In law/ partner

Guys I’m just struggling so much mentally. I had my son in January by myself as my partner is based in the states on a visa that can restrict his travel and we didn’t want him to lose his status. He didn’t see his son until he was 6 months old and that was because we flew to him. Since coming he’s not spoken about coming to the UK to be with us but talks of America like it’s his base and speaks of his son going there to see him. It’s honestly heartbreaking that he’s fine with us being apart and that he hasn’t spoken about plans that include us. Any advice? Sometimes I get so anxious I feel like I’ll go out of control (God forbid).

Success story!!

So proud of my son (and husband). I was happy when they graduated from pureed carrot, zucchini, peppers and mushrooms in pasta sauce to grated.
Last night I made gnocchi and I just fine julienned the veggies and my son at 2 bowls. My husband said he actually preferred the julienned carrots!! I no longer need to hide veggies! I get to skip steps while cooking!!!