Please help 🫶🏼
Caught my partner looking at pictures/videos of women AGAIN, (for context they are shaking their behind, talking dirty to the camera, doing all inappropriate motions all that stuff) we share a toddler son together which makes it worse, this has always been a boundary of mine that I have set in our relationship he has never physically cheated but he knows doing this hurts me as I know the thoughts in his head while he watches them, plus he watches them when he’s not around me so at work? So it’s literally not even for that kind of pleasure, my partner IS a sweat heart, he’s quiet a hard working man and is a good dad claims he loves me, he shows it but this is where he fucks up, I confronted him last night about the things I saw on his phone, he did the same stuff as before, went all quiet and kinda seemed cold tbf, didn’t even say sorry played dumb and then said he does love me that’s it , then he fell asleep in the end but I’ve just noticed that he’s removed me on socials (I suppose that’s because I said I don’t want to hear from him for a while unless it’s about our son) which probably hurt him, but now I feel more hurt, feel like he never fights for us, I know he loves me, I can tell it through his affection and attention but idk what to do anymore he’s not respecting my boundary and I feel like this is breaking me down each time it happens, what do I do? 😔😢
Is it time to leave?
Me and my partner have been together almost 5 years and we have a 2 yo.
Lately I find myself so unbelievably angry at him just 24/7. I use to look at him with so much love and respect and now I just can’t stand him even on a good day. I’m forever having to clean up after everyone in our house, remember appointments, bills, groceries, plan what happens and when. I have to give a complete step by step on how our day is looking and what needs to be done. Little things piss me off but I bite my tongue because I don’t want to fight in front of my child; (I had a colourful upbringing where adults would fight in front of me and it terrified me.)
I have tried multiple times to have conversations about pitching in or just taking over because I live in a state of constant burn out. I have done since our child was born. Even after childbirth, I went right back to the cleaning and taking care of things when I should’ve been resting and bonding with my newborn - and I had stitches! I often look back on that time and feel so unbelievably robbed of bonding time with my new baby. He didn’t bat an eye but he did bitch and moan about how tired he was. I brought this up in an argument once and his response was “why didn’t you just ask, I would’ve done it - I’m not a mind reader” WTF? But when he does finally decide to help out, it’s like he’s looking for an award or recognition, like congrats - you did the very basic things that most adults/parents do. What???
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my child with every bone in my body and would do anything and everything for them but I’ve not had a chance to just be a person outside of being “Mummy” in a long time. My wants and needs are so off the radar that I have no idea who I am anymore. If I see an opening to do something for myself, his wants or needs come before mine and he just ends up bringing our child to me anyway.
I just feel like I’m bringing up 2 children rather than 1 and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of having these conversations which lead into arguments. I’m sick of not being able to rely on him, I’m sick of waiting for this to pass; I’m just sick of my life at this point. He gets to up and leave and live his life and I have to sit back and just carry the weight of the world; he puts us in awkward situations and I just have to deal with it but it’s okay because he’s “sorry”
I can’t do this anymore.
Am I thinking into it too much?
My MIL would come to have my toddler atleast once a week (for 1 hour) so I could run some errands. She ended up injured and in hospital, was no longer able to have my son. No issues there I worked around it, got him into the gym childcare and he loves it.
She continued to come over to see my son and hang out, basically do exactly what she would do if she were baby sitting him for me. But whenever id ask if she can watch him so I could attend an appointment, she would say no, she doesn’t want to risk injury.
So naturally I’ve been struggling on my own like a mother fucker, I don’t have any help at all and she was my 1 person.
Anyway I have an appointment coming up which I only said yes to cos my bf was available to have toddler, later on told me he’s not available. I told him straight he needs to sort a sitter and that it’s his problem to organise that, so he asks his mum (MIL) and she says yes.. and I’m like well wtf? Why hasn’t she been able to help every time I’ve asked her? But continued to come over for over an hour to hang with him? Doing exactly what they would do if I weren’t there anyway?
Is it just me she is saying no too? She’s a spiteful drunk in general but never has been towards me (to my face anyway). She’s watched me struggle all on my own and continued to deny me help and now that her son has asked she’s all for it.
I don’t even want her around me or in my home unless her son is here due to hearing that recently she made comments about me during an argument between partner and I.
Would you be mad? If so, what would you do/say?
Maybe it's just my pregnancy hormones that's making me so sensitive, but I'm really upset.
My husband's friend lives with us (long story) and tonight I cooked fish curry.
I made it in a rush because my husband was on the way home and I was also extremely exhausted from the kids and cleaning a ton.
Anywho, when we were eating dinner he kept smelling it before even tasting it, then a few minutes pass by he finally tried it and had the audacity to tell me to my face that it wasnt tasty and he will only eat tasty food.
He didnt eat anymore after that.
He told me last time I made it, it was really tasty and the gravy was thick, but this time it was watery and it wasn't tasty.
Maybe its a stupid thing to be upset about, but I love cooking/baking so much plus I am pregnant and super emotional. My love language is cooking for my husband and family. So it really hurt that he told me that....
He made dinner last night and it wasn't good, but I still ate it and didnt say a word because I am respectful and didnt want to hurt his feelings.
