Is it time to leave?

Me and my partner have been together almost 5 years and we have a 2 yo.
Lately I find myself so unbelievably angry at him just 24/7. I use to look at him with so much love and respect and now I just can’t stand him even on a good day. I’m forever having to clean up after everyone in our house, remember appointments, bills, groceries, plan what happens and when. I have to give a complete step by step on how our day is looking and what needs to be done. Little things piss me off but I bite my tongue because I don’t want to fight in front of my child; (I had a colourful upbringing where adults would fight in front of me and it terrified me.)

I have tried multiple times to have conversations about pitching in or just taking over because I live in a state of constant burn out. I have done since our child was born. Even after childbirth, I went right back to the cleaning and taking care of things when I should’ve been resting and bonding with my newborn - and I had stitches! I often look back on that time and feel so unbelievably robbed of bonding time with my new baby. He didn’t bat an eye but he did bitch and moan about how tired he was. I brought this up in an argument once and his response was “why didn’t you just ask, I would’ve done it - I’m not a mind reader” WTF? But when he does finally decide to help out, it’s like he’s looking for an award or recognition, like congrats - you did the very basic things that most adults/parents do. What???

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my child with every bone in my body and would do anything and everything for them but I’ve not had a chance to just be a person outside of being “Mummy” in a long time. My wants and needs are so off the radar that I have no idea who I am anymore. If I see an opening to do something for myself, his wants or needs come before mine and he just ends up bringing our child to me anyway.

I just feel like I’m bringing up 2 children rather than 1 and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of having these conversations which lead into arguments. I’m sick of not being able to rely on him, I’m sick of waiting for this to pass; I’m just sick of my life at this point. He gets to up and leave and live his life and I have to sit back and just carry the weight of the world; he puts us in awkward situations and I just have to deal with it but it’s okay because he’s “sorry”

I can’t do this anymore.

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I was in the exact same position and left. We broke ups bd for back together a couple times before my daughter was 1yr old last year. I had to walk away for good at the start of this year.

I was, in some ways, fortunate that my husband had not developed a particularly strong bond with our daughter. Throughout her early life he was often disengaged, sleeping for long periods and not being very involved in her day-to-day care.
After I asked him to leave, I began trying to establish a structured parenting plan so he could have regular, scheduled time with her. However, he frequently failed to attend those visits and was often a no-show.
As a result, my daughter did not experience the same sense of attachment or loss that many children might in similar circumstances. Given her young age and the limited consistency of his involvement, she did not appear to recognise his absence in the way an older child with a close bond may have.

What I’ve learned through all of this is that a “broken home” is not what defines a child’s wellbeing—what matters most is the emotional environment they are raised in. A child needs a parent who is mentally and emotionally well, stable, and able to provide love, care, and support. Staying in a relationship that causes ongoing distress or unhappiness doesn’t create that environment.
I struggled with this decision myself for a long time, but I’ve come to understand that choosing peace and stability is not something to feel guilty about. When a parent is in a healthier and more secure place emotionally, they are better able to show up fully for their child.

Yep I have had the same thoughts and experience as you! Feel free to DM me if you’re able to (still learning this app) happy to keep in touch 🩷🩷🩷

Yep omg I totally get that too. When I ended it for good, it was almost a relief. The workload mentally and physically hadn’t changed but it felt easier coz the expectation of a partner remembering and doing was just gone.

It’s okay to express how you feel. I am glad you did so with your husband. The next step should be hiring some help. Whether it be a chef, a nanny, childcare, something so you can have time for yourself. There’s no way you can recover from burnout without help. Don’t look to your husband for it. He’s already shown he’s incompetent and won’t level to a mothers mind and not just a mind of a women. I’m glad you care for your family but also, lighten your load. Make this shit easy for YOU.

Right? He was gone for a bit while j was pregnant with our third and just was so much easier considering I didn't have an extra mouth to feed and the routine would stick. No more can you get the kids to bed at this time or anything cuz it was just me and the kids

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Wanting to break up with partner or is it just postpartum

Hey, I’m 3 months post partum with my first baby and I feel like I’m having the same conversation over and over with my partner. He works shifts 2 days & 2 nights , so when he’s working I’m looking after our baby 24/7, I don’t get to eat or shower etc. I have no friends and families aren’t helpful so I don’t see anyone. I don’t leave the house unless it’s to do the same walk around my estate every day, or to go and buy baby supplies. I do all the housework, I’ve asked for his help numerous times but if I don’t do the job it won’t get done. I get very little sleep whilst he gets 8/9+ hours . I am fed up with waiting for him to be on days off so we can leave the house and we never do, we do a food shop that’s it. I’ve said several times and nothings changed. I get no ‘me’ time to do anything to make me feel better about how I look , I’m struggling and I feel done with my relationship. Is this normal? Are these feelings real or am I just struggling postpartum and being too sensitive.
I feel like I’m not appreciated at all, I have sacrificed so much and I’m struggling mentally all I want is to be able to do my makeup to feel better and leave the house so I’m not staring at the same 4 walls all day everyday. Am I the problem ?

What would you do?

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2 and my husband and I are very excited to tell our closest family. We’re having a dinner tomorrow night with my in-laws and I’m in two minds about telling my SIL (and BIL) because her uncle has been in hospital unwell, and she’s found out (about 3 days ago or so) that he has terminal cancer. She’s quite upset understandably so I feel conflicted whether to share our news just yet…is it in poor taste/bad timing to tell her given her uncle?
I feel bad telling my MIL and FIL without her as we usually do family announcements for pregnancies like the 6 of us (she’s pregnant too). What would you do?

MIL drama post partum

Am I crazy at being offended at this? My MIL and FIL came to see their new grandchild who's two weeks old. They're thankfully staying at a hotel, but my MIL is coming over everyday (for 10 days) while her husband works from the hotel. They want to take my husband out to a fancyish($40/plate) dinner without me or the baby. If we went on a weeknight we'd be in an empty restaurant. I mentioned wanting to come with the baby and my MIL got offended. She wants "time alone with their son" and "the baby would ruin the mood". She's already getting a few hours with him alone everyday, is taking him shopping without me tomorrow afternoon and he's already gone out to the shooting range with his dad. Am I overreacting to being told I cannot come out to dinner? They offered to bring me back food, but I feel so disrespected that they're making this visit all about time with their son.

How do you do this alone

I’m 5w PP and have been staying at my mums for the last week and a half. I intend on staying for the next 3 weeks and go back just before baby’s check up. At home, I’ve had so much support from my family where sometimes my baby doesn’t even feel like mine 😂. I keep thinking how I will manage on my own with looking after a baby, myself and the home (esp during the day when my husband’s at work). For those who are or have done it alone - do you have any tips?

My husband is leaving me to “find a better woman”

He says he’s going to trade up and find a woman who is better than me… he thinks he’ll find someone who can cook and clean better, be ready for sex 24/7, and not have opinions and just sit there silently all day.

He called me horrible, horrible names… he said I’m an embarrassment to our family, and all I do is humiliate them by talking to tell much. He said I’m a disgusting and nasty woman with nothing to offer him, and all I do is hold him back. He said he deserves a woman who works as hard as he does, and still maintains the home and kids by herself and is ready for sex at bed time, and wakes up wanting it too. He called me a whore and a bitch. He said I’m crazy and unstable and everyone hates me. He listed people we are close to (friends and family) and told me these horrible things they allegedly think about me, and how everyone tells him to leave me because he’s too good for me.

He didn’t come home last night… he went to his brothers house, and sent his brother to come get some of his things.

I feel completely blindsided… the night before he held me and told me he loved me and didn’t know how he got so lucky to have me. He told me he would give up everything for our family, and he thanked me for giving him the only family he’s ever known. When I pointed this out to him he just laughed this cocky laugh and said “things change.” I asked if there was someone else, which made him really mad, but he insisted there wasn’t. He said it’s all me, and I just suck so much he can’t stand the idea of spending another day with me, even if it means losing his kids, because I make him miserable and ruined his whole life…

I just don’t know what happened. I cried all night and just begged him to come home and talk to me, but he won’t. He says he’s weak for how beautiful I am and knows he’ll go back on his word if he sees me face to face, but he’s allegedly always hated me as a person and was just keeping me around because all his friends were jealous he pulled such a hot/attractive woman, but now they realize it’s just because I’m a psycho. (I swear I didn’t do anything leading up to this. It was just a regular day).

I feel completely shattered. I feel so insecure and sad and like I hate myself. He pulled at every single lose thread I had, and now I’m just unraveling and tattering all over.

Also, I pull my weight. Our house was my premarital asset. Both cars are in my name. I make three times his income. I am solely responsible for house maintenance, paying the bills, and child care. I cook every single night. We have sex nearly every single night. The house gets a little messy, but I’m working 50 hours a week and I never get time to myself, and the only thing I ever ask him to do is take the trash out. The dinner thing is because one night I got home late from the kids soccer game, so I made stuffed peppers for dinner and they weren’t homemade (they were stoffers), and he flipped out that I fed him slop. I served it on rice with homemade garlic bread, I just was tired and needed to feed my family… I busy my ass every day, and never complain about it. I just silently take it and make sure my family is happy. And now I feel so broken…

Arachnophobia

I so badly want to take care of my lawn but I have really bad arachnophobia which means getting closer to the dirt is a no go. I can weed wack just fine, is there a way do dig up weeds with out getting my foot or hand close to the dirt?