Wanting to break up with partner or is it just postpartum

Hey, I’m 3 months post partum with my first baby and I feel like I’m having the same conversation over and over with my partner. He works shifts 2 days & 2 nights , so when he’s working I’m looking after our baby 24/7, I don’t get to eat or shower etc. I have no friends and families aren’t helpful so I don’t see anyone. I don’t leave the house unless it’s to do the same walk around my estate every day, or to go and buy baby supplies. I do all the housework, I’ve asked for his help numerous times but if I don’t do the job it won’t get done. I get very little sleep whilst he gets 8/9+ hours . I am fed up with waiting for him to be on days off so we can leave the house and we never do, we do a food shop that’s it. I’ve said several times and nothings changed. I get no ‘me’ time to do anything to make me feel better about how I look , I’m struggling and I feel done with my relationship. Is this normal? Are these feelings real or am I just struggling postpartum and being too sensitive.
I feel like I’m not appreciated at all, I have sacrificed so much and I’m struggling mentally all I want is to be able to do my makeup to feel better and leave the house so I’m not staring at the same 4 walls all day everyday. Am I the problem ?

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You aren't the problem. It is normal in pp to feel that your life has changed and there's hasn't/some resentment cos they get to leave the house, get ready etc whilst you don't.

Obviously it's up to you but I'd say you don't need to wait for him to be off to get out and about/out of the same 4 walls.

Personally I wouldn't make any decisions about your relationship the first year postpartum (unless there were major issues prior to baby)

Give baby to your partner and leave for a couple hours. Caregiver fatigue is a real thing and you need a break. Have long shower then go to a cafe and don't look at your phone for at least an hour.

Your feelings are valid girl. The experience is so tough for women, because we get to see the true incapability of men post partem. Your partner should be serving you making sure that you have breaks and showers and sleep. He should make sure that you also are getting nutrition to your body and lots of water. Your husband seems that he’s falling short really of all of those categories. The role of thumb that I was given by my siblings, which have many kids is that you do not make the decision about your relationship within the first year of postpartum. Because both of you are still adjusting.

It's so tough with a new baby to adjust, but I wonder if there's a way you can carve out time still? Like one of the other comments said, give dad the baby when he's on a day off, even if it's just for a few hours and go out. On days when it's just you and the baby I've found I need to leave the house or I go crazy! Ask your local FB groups about cheap/ free baby groups and use them as a way to meet other mums so you have adults to talk to. Librarys tend to be a good place to start. The baby groups are definitely more for mums than babies 😅
Re shower I feel ya! I now put my baby on a play mat on the bathroom floor or in a bouncy chair and she just watches me shower or looks out the sky light 😅 if she cries I know I'll only be a few minutes but it helps me feel human. Good luck x

in our community

Food

Baby is 11 months old. He completely refuses to eat any food unless it’s from a pouch. I’m constantly making homemade food for him, he’ll have a spoon full and refuse the rest, no matter how much we try he literally only eats food pouches.

Anyone else having this issue? I genuinely feel like such a terrible mum because nothing I’m doing is working

Annoyed with work

I returned to work mid June and recently had a month review with my manager and HR. It was a positive meeting and no issues. But I’ve now read my letter following this and I’m really frustrated by a comment that’s been made. The day after this I was 5mins late in and admittedly I tend to be most days. But this is no fault of my own. I’m waking up at 5am to ensure I’m ready and sorted before the rest of the house, leaving at the right time to get my baby to nursery then onto work. Traffic is awful on the way no matter what time in the morning and I then have to park my car 15min walk from work. Anyone with a baby knows just how difficult getting out the door is even with bags packed the night before! Our nursery only has a few parking spaces so sometimes I have to wait for someone to leave. My baby still finds drop offs hard. I’m trying my absolute best to juggle all of this and be fully committed to my job, it’s absolutely exhausting. I’ve explained to work all of this (before the late comment was made) and I feel like I’m being shown no understanding. I’d get ticking off someone for being late if they haven’t got a valid reason but I have a baby! Honestly makes me question why am I doing this and why are parents treated so differently to any other employee

pls give advice

I’m 3 month’s postpartum and I feel like I’m losing my mind. My boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago now because he was hanging out with other girls behind my back. I’m living with my mom and I am getting help here and there from her but I just feel so overwhelmed all the time no matter what I do. My baby won’t take my breast and only drinks out of bottles so if I’m constantly washing and pumping over and over again all day. I’m going back to school in two weeks. My babys dad hardly comes around to see her and I’m trying my best to coparent with him, but even talking to him makes me so angry. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Hating life

I am literally hating life, our 14wk old is such a miserable baby its unreal.

Im sure he has silent reflux now, but am just counting down the days in the hope things get easier or counting down time so we can start moving onto solids.

Hes so miserable every day, all our family sees it too so its not just my imagination. The only time hes content is when hes sleeping or if im lucky the occasional 1p/20mins at some point throughout the day but it is so minimal when hes awake its unreal

Im so fed up, we also have a toddler and it dread days off with them both as its such a nightmare

I just hate life atm its shit

Should I get a divorce ?

Im not 100% taking any advice from here but I guess I wanted some perspective. I’ve always had the idea that you’re not supposed to talk of you marriage problems with family or friends but with your spouse. The big problem is that everytime I bring up the fact that I don’t feel loved my husband says that is obvious he loves me.. even tho he nevers says it or does anything to show it (nothing that I can notice) He once said well if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t be washing the dishes or getting food ready for our son. We come to agreements where he is supposed to tell me more often he loves me or at least something positive but it happens maybe one or 2 times after and is back to the same in a week. Is very hard to discuss anything with him cause he doesn’t even look at me when I talk, he will usually be in his phone and say he is listening. I don’t consider myself an angry person but I noticed I’ve been getting very frustrated and having a rage feeling in my chest because I can’t have a normal conversation with him about how I’m feeling. I now feel very guilty because I’ve come to the conclusion that he will never change, he is this way and he just wil continue to be so forever. I’ve tried asking him to go to therapy but he said he would prefer to divorce instead of going to a psychologist… no I feel very guilty like I’ve been trying to change him. I still love him but feel very empty and lonely in our relationship. I have been to therapy for a couple of years and I’m aware I have my own issues at this point I just wish I didn’t had a need for love the way I need or maybe don’t care for reassurance

Question for this coming school year...

Ok so... my son is 5 (Sept 10th birthday) he was in kindergarten last year and now we are considering holding him back... but hes excelled so much that we are thinking of putting him through to 1st grade. His speech therapist doesn't know why I want to hold him back, but I just dont want him to fail. . . This padt year was super rough with me having his baby brother 2/20/25 and the brain surgeries 2 moths after i had the baby... homework wasnt done... speech wasnt done... kumon wasnt done... im not blaming. I understand that shit was happening... but at the same time he deteriorated from where we were and it took almost the rest of the year to catch up somewhat...

Do I hold him back? Or do I put him in 1st grade?