i feel like a total failure

this is longer than i expected but here it goes... so i took my 21mo son to toddler-time at the library yesterday because i've been trying to do better about getting him used to socializing and being out in public. for context my husband and i and our son lived with my parents until about 2 months ago and basically i felt guilty about leaving the house unless necessary but i'm really trying to start now that we're mostly settled in and figured out living by ourselves. so yesterday was the second time we've gone and the whole time, my son was running around the room, trying to get behind the instructor, getting into containers, trying to leave the room entirely, and even tried getting up on the table behind the instructor. well when that last part happened, i was trying to make my way towards him to get him down but right before i could, another mom stepped in and carried him off. of course i was thankful and expressed my gratitude but all she did was glare at me and sighed as she looked away. like personally i would've said something like "no worries, it happens" or "that's okay, they're all learning". like idk maybe her brain just short circuited but still any kind of acknowledgement or words of encouragement would've been appreciated, even if it was just two words "it's okay". but i just haven't been able to stop thinking about it and i could be totally misreading the situation and getting in my head over nothing. and it is like this literally everywhere we go, he never wants to just sit and watch or participate like other kids and he'll scream at the top of lungs if he's bored like in a shopping cart or something. i know he'll never learn unless he's exposed to it repeatedly but it's judgement like that from other moms that makes me never even want to try.

in our community

How would you feel?

If you were spending money on yourself for the first time in 2 years (I just went back to work after 2 years of being a sahm) and your husband made comments about ‘just cause you have it doesn’t mean you have to spend it’ or ‘there’s more important things’ would you be upset? Or?

Missing my old active self

Hi everyone! I’m a mum to a 2-month-old baby boy. Before having him, I used to go to the gym at least four times a week or go for long walks. Right now, I feel like I can’t do anything. Because I’m breastfeeding, even going for a walk feels like a huge deal—I never know when he’s going to cry for food. I also can’t go to the gym because I moved here from Italy 12 years ago, and with my family over there, I have very little support nearby (my partner’s family helps a bit, but it's limited).
I spend most of my days sitting on the sofa, watching sunny days go by. I feel emotionally drained and really bad about myself, but I just don’t know what to do to start feeling better. To top it off, my baby will only sleep on me—if I try to put him in his carrycot, he lasts a few minutes before screaming again. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Do you have any tips?

Have you been told by dentists that babies can’t feel their teeth come in??

I’ve never heard this but my friend says she’s been repeatedly gaslit by many dentists saying that infants can’t feel their teeth breaking in… I always assumed they did cause I know they do !! That’s so crazy to be told by professionals… why else do my kids cry when their gums are bright red and only during that period of teeth cutting… 🤨🙂‍↔️

Pp anxiety or normal?

Hey, can anyone tell me if they relate and it’s normal, or if I’m verging into anxiety territory?

I just want my baby to be happy & healthy at all times, but to the point I’m getting fearful. I’m so fearful a lot of the time of my baby getting sick. I hate when people touch his hands or his face, I actually kinda just hate when people want to hold him too. Then when he starts crying inconsolably and has an upset tummy or vomits (not spit up) I freak out thinking he’s caught a bug or something. I’m so scared of him being too hot when it’s warm. Or even sometimes when he might just be falling asleep and his eyes roll, I think he’s going to have a seizure or something. Etc etc.

My husband is so chill with everything, and I can’t tell if that’s the right approach or he’s being lax.

Someone put my mind at rest that I’m not alone. Or tell me if I need therapy haha. Or tips on how to overcome it? X

Burned out

I’m so burnt out and exhausted. I’m up before my partner with our 2 kids and he gets home 2 hours before their bedtime so I’m doing 100%. Even on the weekends he helps maybe 5%? I can’t remember the last time he got them dressed,made them food,gave them a bath,I always put them to bed as they only settle with me so he doesn’t even try. I just feel like I’m giving it my all while he’s not even helping a little. He goes away for a few months in a few weeks (I prepared for a year but it’s changed 5 times). I know I’ll be fine without him gone as again I do everything anyway but I’m just so tired,I can’t even go upstairs to change bedding without him falling asleep with them,I’ve told him he needs to get his bloods done as I don’t think it’s normal for him to constantly pass out when he has the kids for a few minutes,which also means I never get to relax. My jaw is constantly tense,I’m anxious and it’s not healthy. I had a shower the other day and I was gone for 6 minutes,I came back down and he was fast asleep whilst our kids played. I have brought this up to him but he just shrugs and says works tiring which I completely understand but I’m also tired,I sleep in our kids bed every night and they constantly crawl over me so I can’t even say the last time I had a decent night sleep whilst he gets an uninterrupted sleep and the days with them are beyond challenging at the moment 😩 his mum has said how lazy he is and even admits she’s mostly to blame but at one point is he going to step up?! He was great in the newborn stage for both of them but now even me asking for a nappy or an item of clothing is a chore for him 🙃

feel like baby doesn’t care about me

My 8 month old never gets excited to see me especially after not seeing him for a few hours due to work. He gets super excited with everyone else. Just seems like he doesn’t love me and never seems to want only me :( it’s heartbreaking because I see so many babies excited to be with their mums they are so attached. Any one else experienced this? cc