Is this normal....
My husband is obsessed with time... my daughter has a strict schedule which we created with the help of chatgpt. They change all the time so I need to update them all the time. But I have to plan every minute of the day, how much development time she does (the number of minutes she has for tummy time, kneeling, transition practice, standing etc. We are trying to get her to crawl) what i do when shes napping, the best time for visitors to come, when we both shower etc. My husband works from home and i feel our life is so regimented... my husband says that every successful household are strict with time and that time is money!
I grew up in a household that had routine but flexibility and all this rigidness is suffocating me to the point that I actually hate motherhood....
We even have 2 cameras over her cot (one just a standard monitor and the other is recording camera so we can see exactly what time she wakes up in the morning).
We log everything in huckleberry, weigh her solids and he is obsessed with checking the data...
Is this how everyone else lives their life? Or am I the one that's completely mad here???
Decisions…
So I need ADVICE. I’m not going to give much away but I do need some solid mama advice.
Firstly, I’m going through a trying time in my marriage. Moved here to Tennessee from Florida 3yrs ago and contemplated divorce from the start when we moved here. I have no insight to our finances, I get a “set” allowance of $200/week, I am the sole caretaker of the home, kids and animals and I’m a stay at home mama. I never have to worry about finances but I’d like to (it’s been talked about multiple times to include me but it never happens) husband isn’t very loving but only when he wants.. ya know.. he doesn’t help do anything with the kids, doesn’t do any chores around the home he basically goes to work, makes the money and pays the bills but doesn’t offer any help within the home, kids or animals. Recently brought up divorce, agreed to it, got a job because he wouldn’t sign on to any home with me if I didn’t have a job, got one like I said and showed that I had independence and then the night before I was going to go to the lawyer to get paperwork for an uncontested divorce, he argued with me because like anyone who is lonely in a marriage, you find solace in talking with someone who gives you attention (I know, I shouldn’t have) but it was only communication never physical.. well brought that up into the argument and it went straight down the hatches. Calling me all kinds of names, telling me he was going to not help me with anything, threatened to take my kids from me. When he threatened the kid thing, I slapped him. First time I ever did something like that to him or anyone genuinely speaking.. so it’s not like me to do that. Well I got arrested for that. NEVER been in trouble with the law at all. Went to court, charges got dismissed pending review in 4months (it’s going to be expunged) my thought now is he wants to move states because he doesn’t want to live in the state where I talked to another man at. He’s making active steps to move us away. While I’ve expressed that I don’t want to move, he says he will move regardless of what my decision is with or without me. Which is fine BUT my thought is, I’ll have to find another job, find housing, live here with no family (I do have friends) but it would just be me and the kids and we’d split custody 50/50 IF I go through with a divorce. He wants to make it work but I’m not allowed to have social media, I changed my number and he doesn’t want me volunteering at my child’s school because the other man’s child goes to the same school. Should I stay with him and make it work or should I file? I’m so conflicted. Like I said, I’m not saying everything and I’m willing to talk more about it if questions are asked but that’s the short version. Thank you for your advice if you have any. I really need it right now. First and foremost, my children are my entire heart. I know I’m a good mom. No one could ever take that from me if anything.
