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First time mums

Feeling like I’m ready to leave the relationship or am I over reacting and being too much? Please as much advice as possible x

I need some honest advice. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and we have two children, including a 4-month-old. I’ve been telling him for months, even years, how unhappy and lonely I am, but nothing changes.

Over the last couple of months my trust has completely gone. He’s constantly looking at other women when we’re out, has lusted over women online, watched porn behind my back and I’ve seen things on his phone that have really hurt me. Yet the other day he wouldn’t even go out with me because I wore a casual black top with no bra. I have E boobs, but it genuinely wasn’t revealing. He said it was disrespectful because men would look at me.

He never wants to give me affection. There’s no cuddling, kissing or flirting. He’s always in the bathroom vaping, on his phone or doing his own thing. I’m finding myself begging for attention, affection and reassurance, and honestly I’m embarrassed that I’ve got to this point. I have to fish for compliments and he says, “We’ve been together ages, why are you always fishing for compliments?” I just don’t feel wanted at all.

I’m with the kids most of the time and feel completely unsupported. When we argue, he speaks to me horribly. I’ve cried right in front of him and he’s ignored me, even calling my tears “crocodile tears.”

The worst part is I think I’ve genuinely fallen out of love. We went out recently and I was bored, we had sex and I felt completely emotionally disconnected. I’m constantly crying and feel incredibly lonely despite being in a relationship.

I’ve now told him I want to end it, but he won’t accept it and carries on like everything is normal telling me I’d be “throwing this away over my little episodes”

Am I genuinely done, or am I just exhausted and postpartum?