A few weeks ago my friend put on the school mums group chat to ask if we wanted to meet up in a park somewhere I'd never been before it's like in the peak district somewhere. I replied and said we will come as no one else did. She said that's great and she would take us as I can't drive.
Yesterday she messaged me privately and said she can't take us because she's visiting a relative in hospital after going to the park. I said it's fine I've got my sister's kids anyway and we wont be able to get there. My sisters mil has been admitted into the cancer unit for end of life care. My friend knew this.
Yesterday she put on the group chat if anyone else wanted to come and no one replied. She then said very late on that she can't go anyway because of a family emergency. I messaged her privately and asked if she was okay. She said she had to wait in for a parcel for said relative who is in hospital (relative is fine btw but my friend is dissapointed that she couldn't take her son to the park. The parcel is the "family emergency" she posted on the group chat)
I replied and said that I was sorry about having to cancel and I hope her relative is okay (shes fine and recovering) here if she needed anything etc. My sisters mil is actively dying in the cancer suite and she didn't want her boys to whitness it. That's why I've got them today. My youngest nephew is nonverbal and autistic and it's not fair on the eldest to care for him whilst I struggle to take them to a place they've never been before with my son who has his own health issues. I explained that I'm feeling the pressure too as I'm planning my sisters baby shower whilst suffering from a late chemical pregnancy. I finished the message with, sending you lots of love.
She replied with "thanks" nothing else. So she either didn't read my message properly (she knew I was in the early stages of pregnancy as I showed her the positive test, my sister is also heavily pregnant and due next month so I'm supporting her too)
Or she just doesn't give a shit. The last time she didn't give a shit she said "it's not my fault your mum died" on the anniversary of my mums death. So I messaged her and said that she either didn't read my message or she doesn't care. Which is it? It sounds harsh but I'm also suffering a massive loss whilst trying to support my sister and my "friend" just isn't interested in the slightest.
Am I the ah for calling he tout bevause I'm sick of her BS. For clarification waiting in for the parcel was the emergency. It just messed up the plans for the day. That's literally what she told me in the private message (not the group one)
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Learn more about our guidelines.We are still taking about my friend not my sister. I'm not calling my sister out. I'm pissed off that my friend can't or doesn't want to understand why I'm trying to support my sister, and suffering a massive loss myself.
Also my friend knows it's the anniversary of mums death this weekend

She doesn't sound like a friend. Friends are supportive and understanding it doesn't sound like she's any of these.
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