38 year-old first time mom - alone

I just need to vent because I feel like there’s just no place for me on any of these apps and I don’t really know how to make any friends that have any similarities here.

I’m 38. I was in a committed relationship with a 41-year-old man and we accidentally got pregnant and then he abruptly ended the relationship. I live in Manhattan. I have a great job. I’m not destitute but it feels like there’s no group for women that are single mothers that are in this category where we’re not absolutely bad off technically but it’s extremely lonely.. I didn’t use an IUI or a sperm donor. I also didn’t plan this. People that are married, seem to be weirded out by this and don’t really want to maintain a relationship because they’re like this is kind of a downer. And if I’m being so honest, the single mothers in these groups I have nothing in common with they’re always quite young and seem to be struggling in ways that I’m not.

My single friends don’t really understand and I married friends. I don’t think really will understand how f***ing hard this will be and I just feel like I have zero people that are in this category anywhere. It’s always people that are widowed or divorced or weren’t really even in the relationship or just decided to get pregnant by themselves because they didn’t want to have a partner. I just feel like there’s nobody that has anything in common and I don’t know where to look for that.

But if anyone on here genuinely wants to get together that lives in Manhattan, knowing this, I would love to talk to you because everyone on here is extremely excited about their pregnancies and I guess I was robbed of that a bit and I don’t really know how to celebrate with anyone in my life.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I agree that the majority of moms on here are young and hard to relate with. Want you to know that your unique situation is heard, Mama! I hope you have professional help because even tho our circumstances are different, this has been the greatest source of help/care I've had (I have a great psychologist who specializes in prenatal and postpartum care, DM me if you'd like her name).

I cannot relate because I am married. However, I'm not weirded out by your situation & I've been around long enough (we're the same age) to understand that sometimes things happen. I can relate in that I've been in this app long enough & haven't really made many connections on here & I think it's due to what you said, either I can't relate to them or they're extremely young. Motherhood can feel lonely even when you have your village so I cannot even imagine how you feel. But I would certainly be open to talk if you'd like. I'm super non judgmental, open minded & I've heard it all; I have friends in all stages of life.

Hi! 38-year-old single mom. The dad is involved but we’re not a couple. I live in Nassau, work on Roosevelt Island. DM me!

in our community

Baby asprin

Hi all, just found out im nearly 5 weeks pregnant after 2 longgggg years trying! I did start taking 75mg of asprin (what people call baby asprin) around 5-6 weeks ago, just on a whim as lots of people said it helped them conceive! I’ve never had a positive test so overrrr the moon!
Should I stop taking it now? I don’t see a midwife until like the end of September and don’t want to risk anything!
Thanks in advance!

Taking sex out of the relationship

My husband has always been very routine in his approach to our sex life. It's always on his terms and happens once a week. Not through lack of me trying, but after years of rejection, I've just given up initiating.
Im a very physical touch person, its what makes me feel close and really its the difference of being just good friends.
Anyway! Ive just had my birthday and our wedding anniversary and there wasnt any form of physical touch whatsoever. Am I wrong for being upset by this?
Im considering just saying we will temporarily take sex out of the relationship? It just makes me feel a bit crappy.

Trying to figure out a birthday gift for my husband

A) find a way to take a picture of all three kids together and get it printed on one item.

B) use existing pictures of the kids individually print one on a mug, one on a mouse pad, and one on a puzzle.

C) get him something else that's unrelated to the kids

Returning to work

Is anyone else absolutely terrified about going back to work? I’m supposed to be going back the start of October but I don’t know whether to delay it I’m absolutely terrified & have such bad anxiety about returning to work.
I’m okay with my little one going to nursery and with parents while I’m in work but just going back to work after 9 months off is terrifying

Which option would you go for?

Me and my partner are saving up to buy a house.

I'm 25 years old and have a 5 month old.
We currently live in my parent’s house and are more than half way from saving up the deposit to buy a decent house.

So the options are either:

- Buying a house which costs considerably less and less mortgage payments a month and can move out faster (within 5 months)
But the disadvantage is that it's not our dream location in terms of community and schools, so will probably move out in the future to a second home.

- Or should we wait and save more money and buy the dream home instead meaning we stay in my parent's house longer (8-12 months realistically)

Chances of getting pregnant, having sex while on period!?

Has anyone got pregnant after having unprotected sex on your period?? My husband and I had a few shots and an edible last night and made bad decisions, he came inside me! I was on day 2 of my period so I’m hoping I don’t get pregnant but what are the chances???